I don't want to die but I feel like I have no choice

[searchingforpeace]

I've been suffering from horrible depression and anxiety for 30 years which developed into a walking problem 8 years ago. Doctors can't help I have no quality of life I don't know if I'll ever walk with any significance again. My dad is dead if my mom dies i'm really **** I'm afraid all the time my method is SN I'm afraid I'll screw that up I'm exhausted i'm overthinking everything I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown I don't want to go to the hospital but I don't know what else to do I've never been this bad before i'm panicking

 

[ItsyBitsyWeetard]

i know what u mean man i dont want to die either mental illness and chronic illness ruined my quality of life and theres no cure either i literally have no choice it fucking sucks
im in a sorry state myself but you can talk to me man i know you're panicking and stuff if it gets too bad i can chat with u to comfort or u or whatever works

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Defenestration]

I've been suffering from horrible depression and anxiety for 30 years which developed into a walking problem 8 years ago. Doctors can't help I have no quality of life I don't know if I'll ever walk with any significance again. My dad is dead if my mom dies i'm really **** I'm afraid all the time my method is SN I'm afraid I'll screw that up I'm exhausted i'm overthinking everything I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown I don't want to go to the hospital but I don't know what else to do I've never been this bad before i'm panicking

Same i want to live but life IS very difficult.

 

[KillingPain267]

30 years depression and anxiety!!! Shit, you are the toughest warrior that exists. I'm only 3 years into depression and feel on the verge of breakdown already.

 

[Defenestration]

30 ans de dépression et d'anxiété !!! Merde, tu es le guerrier le plus coriace qui existe. Je suis déprimée depuis seulement 3 ans et je me sens déjà au bord de la dépression.

Me since 2004...

 

[newstart2000]

Me too. And I made a Hugh mistake that I can't afford when I was mentally ill. I regret everyday, but what's done has done. I have no choice but death.

 

[Kanashii]

I want to live as well, but the sad thing is there is no support for those who are suffering with mental health. Doctors and therapists claim that they're there for us when really, they aren't and only do the bare minimum. That's what makes life so hard in my opinion.

You have suffered for a very long time and I can only imagine how that feels. The fact that you have managed so long is really encouraging.

Whatever happens though, I hope you find peace. I always say life is unexpected and we don't know what will happen next.

 

[Boots2Scoots]

Me too. And I made a Hugh mistake that I can't afford when I was mentally ill. I regret everyday, but what's done has done. I have no choice but death.

This is my exact feeling. Wake up everyday with a lump in my throat, racing thoughts and severe depression. Everything was semi manageable before. But this time, I know I was the one who caused this immense pain. I know that my actions are things that should never be forgiven even if some of my friends and family would. At this point, I'd be too much of a hypocrite if I didn't commit to CTB. That's just the right path for a person like me anymore.