I don't wanna hurt people

[nifii]

I really want to leave this life. My body is failing me. I'm in pain 24/7. I don't feel contected with people anymore and by every attempt to try to cope better with life, improve or try a different treatment i end up even worse. I'm really done with this and i want to end my life. I have everything ready to end it. (I got SN etc...) But i just can't. My mom wont ever recover from it. She is almost 70 or something and very bad in dealing with grief, or negative emotions in general. I don't wanna ruin her last years on this planet and at the same time i really don't wanna live anymore. I'm sick of being in this dysfunctional, painful body and i really want to go.

 

[botch3d]

I really want to leave this life. My body is failing me. I'm in pain 24/7. I don't feel contected with people anymore and by every attempt to try to cope better with life, improve or try a different treatment i end up even worse. I'm really done with this and i want to end my life. I have everything ready to end it. (I got SN etc...) But i just can't. My mom wont ever recover from it. She is almost 70 or something and very bad in dealing with grief, or negative emotions in general. I don't wanna ruin her last years on this planet and at the same time i really don't wanna live anymore. I'm sick of being in this dysfunctional, painful body and i really want to go.

Hey I'm sorry about your situation, may I ask what conditions are you dealing with ?

 

[Lonerzepam]

I'm in the same boat man. I got a neuro illness which makes it impossible for me to live a good life. 24/7 constant pain. Everyday I think of SN I think about my sister, brother, grandma, mom etc. Especially my sis. I know it would just break them. I also don't wanna ruin the last years of my grandma. But if she's gone and I ctb right after it would be so much more tragic then if I ctb now. But if I do now she might also die of an heart attack. And 2 loved ones. My fam just couldn't process that. Just so complicated. But grief is an uninvatinable part of live. It's our decision in the end. But it's really hard anyways...you're not alone with this bro

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm in a very similar situation myself. I'm going to break my husbands heart and I hate it.

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry you're suffering and stuck in limbo

 

[ph0enix]

i feel the same.
my dad and two sisters lost our mother in 2002, like me. i suffer so much, can't go on. but i know that loosing the son/brother after mother/spouse, too will break my family. it's so hard!

 

[nochu]

i feel the same as well exactly with the mom part since she had me at an older age and it was a difficult birth too. im afraid to cause more pain to her even though i am in pain too i wish i could hug all of you who's going through similar .. its unfair and i am afraid even though it is my only option

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult and painful situation to be in, which must be so hard to deal with. It's horrific how the human body can torture people to such great extents and your feelings of wishing to leave this world are understandable, but I get that it can be tiring feeling trapped here. But I hope that eventually when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[nifii]

Hey I'm sorry about your situation, may I ask what conditions are you dealing with ?

Started with just feeling lost in life. Took psychmeds and then the whole shit show began. My muscles are tense the whole time and it hurts a lot. My brain is foggy. I neglected myself and got periodontitis on top of it.

 

[theboy]

I hear you. Life becomes a prison. I want to stop living but not hurt others. I would like someone to kill me or get a terminal illness....