I don't think my mum will let me ctb because she 'loves me' and can't bear to lose me.

[depressedsoul]

So i guess it is a lifetime of mental agony for me, then.

 

[wereqryan]

This is what I've been thinking as well. My parents of course won't let me ctb, but my physical agony is growing. I don't want it to get to a point where the pain is bad that I am in a panic and can't do anything. I have to take a chance before I get to that point, and that point is approaching faster than I would have liked. I can't stall and procrastinate anymore. If my parents die as a result of my death, so be it. I can't go on like this.

 

[depressedsoul]

This is what I've been thinking as well. My parents of course won't let me ctb, but my physical agony is growing. I don't want it to get to a point where the pain is bad that I am in a panic and can't do anything. I have to take a chance before I get to that point, and that point is approaching faster than I would have liked. I can't stall and procrastinate anymore. If my parents die as a result of my death, so be it. I can't go on like this.

But my mum will immediately bin my SN if she finds out. I have no way out. I don't know how I can face this life sentence.

 

[wereqryan]

But my mum will immediately bin my SN if she finds out. I have no way out. I don't know how I can face this life sentence.

Can't you hide it in some way?

 

[depressedsoul]

Can't you hide it in some way?

well i can hide it under the bed, but if i swallow SN and vomit in the bathroom, she might wake up and check on me at night.

 

[FuneralCry]

We have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing, we have no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. It is our life, our decision and nobody else has any say in it. Of course others would be sad, but it is selfish of them to expect us to suffer for decades. Whatever happens, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[depressedsoul]

We have the right to exit this world at a time of our choosing, we have no obligations to stay alive as we did not ask to exist. It is our life, our decision and nobody else has any say in it. Of course others would be sad, but it is selfish of them to expect us to suffer for decades. Whatever happens, I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

My mum looks after me and stops me from oversleeping and neglecting myself. So, I have to say, I can't repay her like this. She has never kicked me out and will never let me be homeless. My parents have kept money for me and i have a brother/extended family who will look after me when she passes away.

 

[WeslieZX]

My mum looks after me and stops me from oversleeping and neglecting myself. So, I have to say, I can't repay her like this. She has never kicked me out and will never let me be homeless. My parents have kept money for me and i have a brother/extended family who will look after me when she passes away.

I understand your pain. The only reason I haven't committed suicide many years ago is because of how it will affect my mother. She loves me unconditionally, and I think there is a high chance she would kill herself as well after I did it. There's nothing else holding me here, it's a difficult situation. I hope you're able to decide what you want to do.