I don't think its possible for someone like me to form/maintain bonds with others

[Water-Lily]

I just don't

I am too emotional

take things too personal

get overly sensitive

One minute I'm smiling and then the next my mood tanks to suicidality

I had a heart to heart with a friend where I just shut down

It doesn't matter what anyone says

it doesn't matter how they may try to help me or encourage me to change

I'm a lost cause

I have a fucked up mind that therapy/meds won't fix

I almost want to tell the friends I do have to not bother with me anymore. My shitty and toxic behaviors are going to become dominant and I can't change them. I feel I have tried and I always end up being shitty regardless. Even had a friend straight up say "I thought I did something wrong and you were mad at me"

I CAN NOT CHANGE

I wish my psychiatrist would tell me I'm a lost cause so that I wouldn't have a reason to keep going

I'm gonna do everyone a favor and leave them alone

They're better off without me and my toxic behaviors

 

[F@#$]

Me neither. I always fuck shit up and ruin any sort of friendships or relationships.I know I'm a miserable prick so I've just quit trying. Anyone and everyone is better off without me.
Except maybe my dogs?

 

[Cress]

I'm an extremely antisocial person. I messed up many relationships and friendships over the course of my life. However even with all of that I still have some amount of people that want to interact with me. There should be people out there that are able to interact with you. It won't be easy to find them but They do exist.

 

[Water-Lily]

I'm an extremely antisocial person. I messed up many relationships and friendships over the course of my life. However even with all of that I still have some amount of people that want to interact with me. There should be people out there that are able to interact with you. It won't be easy to find them but They do exist.

If so I wonder why those people think so low of themselves they put up with frustrating abusive behavior

 

[Cress]

If so I wonder why those people think so low of themselves they put up with frustrating abusive behavior

Most individuals are flawed and you have to deal with those flaws if you want to interact with them. My father for example by all means is a well adjusted fully functioning person but he ghosts people for long Amounts of time randomly and constantly. Even though I'm conscious of it it's a Trait I picked up from him. It makes having a relationship with him extremely frustrating as you can go out to lunch with him and he won't respond to phone calls or texts for the next three to 6 months.

He did this all throughout when I was growing up. My were divorced when I was very young my father would appear and show up randomly. Since becoming an adult I'm confronting him about why he ghosts me but he completely shrugs it off doesn't respond and doesn't care. I thought about cutting off the relationship multiple times in the past but for all intensive purposes it's really the only issue with the relationship. It's extremely annoying but it is what it is.

All sorts of people have different flaws and you have to decide for yourself how you want to interact with it and how much energy you want to put into it to make it worth your time. It's up to the individual person whether or not it's worth putting in the energy to deal with you and whether or not they find value in what you're offering. It's very much a consensual type of trading.

We share our time and knowledge with each other and we do our best to try to give each other a fair trade. I don't necessarily view it as abusive behavior so much as your engaging in a trade where you need to spend a lot of your own Currency For potentially very little value from the other person if they don't offer a fair trade. I've encountered people That gain enough value from interacting with me that they're willing to deal with my BS.

 

[divinemistress36]

Im to emotional for any kind of relationships to

 

[Cress]

Im to emotional for any kind of relationships to

I have the opposite issue. i'm not emotional enough.

 

[youwantitdarker]

Same here. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a human because of my inability to do so. It looks so natural and easy for others.. I'm either too emotional or too indifferent. And that's the worst part - my moods are so inconsistent and always changing, that I can never guess what's it gonna be - am I going to burn a bridge by letting my emotions go haywire, or am I going to isolate myself and be distant until the relationship dies down? It's a gamble at this point. So exhausting

 

[Water-Lily]

Same here. Sometimes I feel like I'm not a human because of my inability to do so. It looks so natural and easy for others.. I'm either too emotional or too indifferent. And that's the worst part - my moods are so inconsistent and always changing, that I can never guess what's it gonna be - am I going to burn a bridge by letting my emotions go haywire, or am I going to isolate myself and be distant until the relationship dies down? It's a gamble at this point. So exhausting

It is exhausting for people like us. Especially when we're told we need to "stop" and "do better" or even "go to therapy/get help"

And if we do those things and still don't change its "well keep trying"

We're never enough. And it hurts

 

[alltoomuch2]

I just don't

I am too emotional

take things too personal

get overly sensitive

One minute I'm smiling and then the next my mood tanks to suicidality

I had a heart to heart with a friend where I just shut down

It doesn't matter what anyone says

it doesn't matter how they may try to help me or encourage me to change

I'm a lost cause

I have a fucked up mind that therapy/meds won't fix

I almost want to tell the friends I do have to not bother with me anymore. My shitty and toxic behaviors are going to become dominant and I can't change them. I feel I have tried and I always end up being shitty regardless. Even had a friend straight up say "I thought I did something wrong and you were mad at me"

I CAN NOT CHANGE

I wish my psychiatrist would tell me I'm a lost cause so that I wouldn't have a reason to keep going

I'm gonna do everyone a favor and leave them alone

They're better off without me and my toxic behaviors

This resonates with me.

 

[youwantitdarker]

It is exhausting for people like us. Especially when we're told we need to "stop" and "do better" or even "go to therapy/get help"

And if we do those things and still don't change its "well keep trying"

We're never enough. And it hurts

Oh absolutely. We constantly have to change and try to fit the mold of what's acceptable. Anything deemed out of line and/or socially unacceptable is something we have to fix, for the sake of others, because it's inconvinient to them. But what about us? I'm so tired of my emotions being so mercurial, if I could get a lobotomy to placate them I would
(btw, I love your katara profile pic, she has always been my favourite)