I don’t think I can do SN

[karmaisabitch]

After searching and reading a lot of failed attempt IN HERE I decided this method is not for me. I will be in the failed list if I attempt.. anyway, I'm not killing myself anymore at least not with those methods.… also wanna see those bastards in jail. I'm not happy I'm still suffering and actually "suffering" doesn't justify how I feel. There is no words but I just can't do any of those horrible painful methods.. I can't hurt myself like that. Sorry

 

[Unknown21]

I definitely understand your point of view. This was my situation when I was exposed to this site and these methods for the first time. I know they are not perfect and completely painless, but they are doable for most.
Life sometimes pushes you to do anything to get rid of your suffering, and this is the idea of suicide in the first place. I hope you find the right path for you soon, good luck.

 

[DarknessInMe]

There is absolutely no reason for apologising. You should never plan to ctb if you are not one hundred percent sure that this is the only way for you to go.
Reading your text, I somehow got the feeling that you experience a distinction between people having decided to ctb and those who don't, with the first ones being "right" or "better" than the latter in this forum. This is an extremely dangerous way of thinking and I'm certain the overwhelming majority of all users would agree with me when I say that this is absolutely not true. Why should it be that way?
Both the reasons why somebody decides to end their life and the decision itself are extremely individual.
I can understand that you are afraid of failing your attempt, this is reasonable and important to consider. There is no "safe" way to ctb and it is harder to ctb than it is mostly depicted.
If you don't think that this is the right time to end your life, don't do it. You will always have the possibility in the future.

I don't know your background, but I am sorry to hear that you suffer that much.
Being in that state of mind, I know how hard it is to see another way out. Still, as long as you are not certain that ctbing is your only way to go, I highly encourage you to try anything that might help to lessen your pain a bit. I wish you all the best!

 

[karmaisabitch]

I definitely understand your point of view. This was my situation when I was exposed to this site and these methods for the first time. I know they are not perfect and completely painless, but they are doable for most.
Life sometimes pushes you to do anything to get rid of your suffering, and this is the idea of suicide in the first place. I hope you find the right path for you soon, good luck.

Thank you so much! I'm trying but either can't find the resources or it's hard to put together…

 

[Artemisia]

Why would you apologize for not taking your life? It's your choice, no one else's business. It was actually extremely easy for me to get SN, but it's not a method I'm fond of either. Too much prep, too much chance of it going wrong, and too much change of fear and pain preventing it from happening. No method is 100% guaranteed, but, in my case, I've chosen CO poisoning. When done right, it should be quite fast and pain free.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, if you don't have high confidence in your chosen method, it is absolutely best to to not even attempt it, as it would probably be a recipe for failure. Take your time and figure out what options are best for you, including trying to recover, if you're so inclined. CTB can be revisited anytime. Maybe a better way for you will reveal itself in the future if you still feel the need to CTB. I wish you the best on your journey.

 

[karmaisabitch]

There is absolutely no reason for apologising. You should never plan to ctb if you are not one hundred percent sure that this is the only way for you to go.
Reading your text, I somehow got the feeling that you experience a distinction between people having decided to ctb and those who don't, with the first ones being "right" or "better" than the latter in this forum. This is an extremely dangerous way of thinking and I'm certain the overwhelming majority of all users would agree with me when I say that this is absolutely not true. Why should it be that way?
Both the reasons why somebody decides to end their life and the decision itself are extremely individual.
I can understand that you are afraid of failing your attempt, this is reasonable and important to consider. There is no "safe" way to ctb and it is harder to ctb than it is mostly depicted.
If you don't think that this is the right time to end your life, don't do it. You will always have the possibility in the future.

I don't know your background, but I am sorry to hear that you suffer that much.
Being in that state of mind, I know how hard it is to see another way out. Still, as long as you are not certain that ctbing is your only way to go, I highly encourage you to try anything that might help to lessen your pain a bit. I wish you all the best!

I lost my son and my life just flipped upside down the worse is better than my situation now. Thank you so much appreciate you!

Yeah, if you don't have high confidence in your chosen method, it is absolutely best to to not even attempt it, as it would probably be a recipe for failure. Take your time and figure out what options are best for you, including trying to recover, if you're so inclined. CTB can be revisited anytime. Maybe a better way for you will reveal itself in the future if you still feel the need to CTB. I wish you the best on your journey.

Thank you my friend! I'm kind of confused I don't know what I want anymore. I want to die but I can't hurt myself like that. I wish I can get medication assistance to help me die. Losing my child is painful more than any depression or mental illness.

Why would you apologize for not taking your life? It's your choice, no one else's business. It was actually extremely easy for me to get SN, but it's not a method I'm fond of either. Too much prep, too much chance of it going wrong, and too much change of fear and pain preventing it from happening. No method is 100% guaranteed, but, in my case, I've chosen CO poisoning. When done right, it should be quite fast and pain free.

thank you so much my friend! It's hard to do poison or SN. I thought about the CO method but my brother moved in with me he came from out of the state to be with me during my son case trial and I don't want him to get hurt if he comes in or try to save me.. I know someone died with the CO method, they found him sleeping they thought he was a live that's how peaceful his face looked. I'm think about that once my brother leaves

 

[tpboy]

There are only a couple methods that will insure death. They are not the most pretty though. I have a big jar of SN here but it gives me no comfort bc I think it's a shitty method.

 

[karmaisabitch]

There are only a couple methods that will insure death. They are not the most pretty though. I have a big jar of SN here but it gives me no comfort bc I think it's a shitty method.

I agree with you. Don't do it. I don't think we deserve to die with pain! I don't know I'm so tired from life but I just can't go through all of that horror to die either

 

[babyelephant]

Whats so shitty about SN? Im not a defender just a noob and based on scrolling this site the majority say its a reliable method with minimal pain

 

[tpboy]

GOODBYE drinking SN in a few minutes

Hi, i'm rob, 19. I'm in a hotel right now, getting ready to drink SN(which is 98% pure). i was fasting since 8pm from last night but my fatass couldnt resist a slice of thin bread in the morning so ive been fasting for 12 hours, i was planning on 24 but okay. i'm following the guide so i'll be...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This thread. There was some debate as to the quality of his SN but it looked very harsh. I have seen others like this.

 

[Little_Suzy]

After searching and reading a lot of failed attempt IN HERE I decided this method is not for me. I will be in the failed list if I attempt.. anyway, I'm not killing myself anymore at least not with those methods.… also wanna see those bastards in jail. I'm not happy I'm still suffering and actually "suffering" doesn't justify how I feel. There is no words but I just can't do any of those horrible painful methods.. I can't hurt myself like that. Sorry

Where did you see a lot of failed attempts with SN? On here, SaSu?

 

[suffering_mo_7]

After searching and reading a lot of failed attempt IN HERE I decided this method is not for me. I will be in the failed list if I attempt.. anyway, I'm not killing myself anymore at least not with those methods.… also wanna see those bastards in jail. I'm not happy I'm still suffering and actually "suffering" doesn't justify how I feel. There is no words but I just can't do any of those horrible painful methods.. I can't hurt myself like that. Sorry

I know you are in pain from the loss of your son but you can still go on to heal and have a decent/liveable life. My cousin died by murder from someone. It was hard for my aunt but she is happy now. You can get through this. My physical suffering/torture and brain damage from pharmaceutical is my only reason I am even seriously considering it but I have children and I am agonized to possibly hurt them...yet I don't know that I can't continue on in this torturous hell. I have looked into all the available methods and there aren't any good ones here...Gun seems the highest success but if you fu*k that up, you are bad, bad. Great possibility to make your life infinitely worse.

 

[karmaisabitch]

I know you are in pain from the loss of your son but you can still go on to heal and have a decent/liveable life. My cousin died by murder from someone. It was hard for my aunt but she is happy now. You can get through this. My physical suffering/torture and brain damage from pharmaceutical is my only reason I am even seriously considering it but I have children and I am agonized to possibly hurt them...yet I don't know that I can't continue on in this torturous hell. I have looked into all the available methods and there aren't any good ones here...Gun seems the highest success but if you fu*k that up, you are bad, bad. Great possibility to make your life infinitely worse.

Thank you so much my friend! I was so attached to my son more than he was to me he was my everything I don't think I can heal. I went to a psychiatric about a month ago and he told me I suffer from " complicated grief" the add on to grief is the guilt that I didn't protect him he was so young and beautiful and I just didn't take care of him the way it should be. After he passed away I learned how toxic two of his friends so if I was a good mother " why I didn't know that before?" I never asked my son about his friends and that was wrong. My son died because I was careless and unfit mother. I can't explain the guilty feeling but it's killing me. I prob will suffer for a while and then die from heart attack I know my heart hurts so much..

Where did you see a lot of failed attempts with SN? On here, SaSu?

I can't possibly put them together in one message but they have a lot of failed attempts with SN

GOODBYE drinking SN in a few minutes

Hi, i'm rob, 19. I'm in a hotel right now, getting ready to drink SN(which is 98% pure). i was fasting since 8pm from last night but my fatass couldnt resist a slice of thin bread in the morning so ive been fasting for 12 hours, i was planning on 24 but okay. i'm following the guide so i'll be...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This thread. There was some debate as to the quality of his SN but it looked very harsh. I have seen others like this.

Thank you for sharing, appreciate you!

 

[LostSoul1965]

Where did you see a lot of failed attempts with SN? On here, SaSu?

There is a SN success and failure thread that lists user attempts in detail. I'm not sure how to attach it or I would have. It's an interesting read if one is considering that route or just wants to be informed.

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Thank you so much my friend! I was so attached to my son more than he was to me he was my everything I don't think I can heal. I went to a psychiatric about a month ago and he told me I suffer from " complicated grief" the add on to grief is the guilt that I didn't protect him he was so young and beautiful and I just didn't take care of him the way it should be. After he passed away I learned how toxic two of his friends so if I was a good mother " why I didn't know that before?" I never asked my son about his friends and that was wrong. My son died because I was careless and unfit mother. I can't explain the guilty feeling but it's killing me. I prob will suffer for a while and then die from heart attack I know my heart hurts so much..

I can't possibly put them together in one message but they have a lot of failed attempts with SN

Thank you for sharing, appreciate you!

It's NOT your fault. As a mom, I can tell you we can not protect our kids from everything. Even if you weren't a perfect mom, it's not your fault. It's NOT. My mom was somewhat neglectful but I was not murdered. I don't know the reasons behind this guilt but you need counseling, support groups, not to end your life . There's still a possibility of good there or bearable. My mother's heart is broken because I am so damaged, I can not only not take care of my kids, I can hardly be around them. I am physically and mentally being tortured from nerve and brain damage from a medical infusion.

 

[Onelegman]

Recently some girls who worked in an ambulance explained to me a notice they received:
A man took a steel cable, tied it to a post and then to his neck, with the trunk open he accelerated without stopping and ended up decapitated. I think that's like shooting yourself in the head, immediately, although studies say that people who died in the guillotine still blinked and were still alive... well, who knows.

 

[karmaisabitch]

There is a SN success and failure thread that lists user attempts in detail. I'm not sure how to attach it or I would have. It's an interesting read if one is considering that route or just wants to be informed.

Thank you!!

Recently some girls who worked in an ambulance explained to me a notice they received:
A man took a steel cable, tied it to a post and then to his neck, with the trunk open he accelerated without stopping and ended up decapitated. I think that's like shooting yourself in the head, immediately, although studies say that people who died in the guillotine still blinked and were still alive... well, who knows.

Wow! I never heard of that method.. thank you for sharing

It's NOT your fault. As a mom, I can tell you we can not protect our kids from everything. Even if you weren't a perfect mom, it's not your fault. It's NOT. My mom was somewhat neglectful but I was not murdered. I don't know the reasons behind this guilt but you need counseling, support groups, not to end your life . There's still a possibility of good there or bearable. My mother's heart is broken because I am so damaged, I can not only not take care of my kids, I can hardly be around them. I am physically and mentally being tortured from nerve and brain damage from a medical infusion.

A day before my son died we had an argument that's the reason for my guilt it was just an argument not a fight but I did tell him to " shut up" the next day he was killed.. I'm crying now I'm crying tonight I'm crying while I'm driving to work I'm crying by his grave I'm just damaged I have to end my life there is no other solution

 

[suffering_mo_7]

Do NOT end your life for that... you may not even succeed, as we are finding. We argue with our loved ones and say things that we shouldn't all the time. Please get counseling. Do not hurt yourself for this reason. Your son loved you and he knew that, even if you did argue.

 

[karmaisabitch]

Do NOT end your life for that... you may not even succeed, as we are finding. We argue with our loved ones and say things that we shouldn't all the time. Please get counseling. Do not hurt yourself for this reason. Your son loved you and he knew that, even if you did argue.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate you.. I'm trying I will keep you updated! I love him so much he was the light of my life and I feel as if I'm in the darkness I can't even see light in the middle of a sunny day. Today we had a meeting with his case attorney so briefly he's saying that the two teens who are suspect in killing my son most likely will be tried as adults so it's a good news