
Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,203
I had recently watched a YouTube Video that I found pretty inspiriting. Spoke about allowing ones self to rest when unnmotivated, being greatful, and then the dreaded "self-love".
There is a reason why "self-love" is shouted by so many people. A lack of love for ones self can lead to greater internal and external damage representative of pain. I see it in my life as my mindset only hurts more than helps me. I resistance to change and happiness on my end as a defense mechanism. But why change? Why change into something that could hurt me? Why change into something that would force me to be vulnerable? Why be vulnerable when I have consistently experienced abuse both online and offline? When the very next thing I or someone else does will make me commit suicide or at the very least hurt myself physically or mentally?
When abuse is your norm, you give up on self love. Cause deep down, you know you don't deserve it even if a part of you does want it
There is a reason why "self-love" is shouted by so many people. A lack of love for ones self can lead to greater internal and external damage representative of pain. I see it in my life as my mindset only hurts more than helps me. I resistance to change and happiness on my end as a defense mechanism. But why change? Why change into something that could hurt me? Why change into something that would force me to be vulnerable? Why be vulnerable when I have consistently experienced abuse both online and offline? When the very next thing I or someone else does will make me commit suicide or at the very least hurt myself physically or mentally?
When abuse is your norm, you give up on self love. Cause deep down, you know you don't deserve it even if a part of you does want it