Discussion I don't like the way the world works nowadays. I don't like being alone without friends.

[Qverty7455]

Why is it so hard to find friends nowadays :( I have no one to hang out, no one will message me. Everyone was just using me to get better and if they got they got rid of me. I am just sitting home 24/7 and my depression is growing and I think it will be my end in couple of months. I can't just go out alone and find friends it's impossible. I am introvert and I can't just start talking to people but I need them. My ex was everything for me but it was very hard relationship and my first one (at 22 years old and now I am 23 which is also terrible) many guys I know had several girls already and I am loser. Plus life sucks anyway...what is the point...everyone will use you to their advantage and you wake up go to work spend there most of the day get home tired as hell and you can sit home alone and then you go to bed and repeat..what is the point? We are slaves of today's world. When I think about living like that for another 5 years it seems impossible and 50 years ? never...
I don't know how to change it, I don't know how to find good people to hang out with...to go skiing in the winter and travel during summer...I have none...
My ex was everything but since we broke up I tried to come back...but she let me in only to destroy me even more...we were chatting and she told me we are just "friends" now and she was very mean talking to me about boys she was out with, sending me pic in underwear with her friend etc...it really destroyed me and I can't live anymore...I loved her and it really hurt to read messages that I am no longer good for her and she wants to be happy but she wasn't able with me...I will love her till my last breath. I am not even worth her response nowadays...I was writing long texts about how I miss and love her and she is just ignoring me :( we meant everything to each other and now she is acting like a ghost girl...
The problem is I can't get her out of my head and I can't find anyone because my self esteem is 0 and my body dysmorphic disorder is telling me I am ugly and everything is wrong on my face. So I will just destroy everything I start by talking about my imperfections and I know everyone has them but I feel like I have most of them and everything is wrong.
I guess I have no future and my destiny is to CTB to maybe have luck next time.
I am just sitting home depressed imagining how she is happy with someone normal. She has friends that care about her and I have none. I want her to be happy and I am sorry I wasn't able, but at the same time it hurts so much...that I was swapped for someone else. I won't ever be enough for anyone.
I just need to get hands on stuff I want to use to CTB and leave this world forever but it will take some time :(
Sorry for long text I just needed to vent it. Because if I don't vent it there or to someone else I will write my ex again and I know I am stupid for doing that and I should just forget her but I don't know how. I said I'll love her forever and I meant it. I probably don't even fit to this world...people are just too mean and I can't use others to my advantage so I must suffer.

Sorry...hope everyone is having a great day ♥ and feeling better than I do...

I wonder if I have bipolar :( because one minute I feel like I can change world and do everything but after one minute I will like everything is falling apart and the only way to fix everything is to die and these two moods cycle several times a day...I was in psych ward but I never told them about my dark thoughts because they will leave me there longer so I always acted like everything is great and wonderful but I was thinking about how I'll die when I get home.

 

[hatelife]

maybe we here can be your friends, everyone here thinks alike at least in terms of life, death

 

[Qverty7455]

maybe we here can be your friends, everyone here thinks alike at least in terms of life, death

yes I do have friends there and I am very grateful for every one of you and your help. But still the lack in real life will be still there and I feel like I failed :(

 

[hatelife]

yes I do have friends there and I am very grateful for every one of you and your help. But still the lack in real life will be still there and I feel like I failed :(

I know what you mean, I dont have any either, I like to be alone but then I dont always like to be alone. So Im here with my parents for now, was really bad being alone in my apartment.

 

[robin999]

i hope everything will get better for you but if not i hope you find peace

 

[PaYo]

Im like crying. I want to not be here i want people to be honest with me to respect me but they wont i want to die...
Fuck this

 

[Mark Edward]

I'm sorry that you feel so bad.
You may always think about this girl, but the only way to move on is to accept that it is over.
It's not your fault, or hers. It came to its end.
Try not to compare yourself to other males, especially "Players". Their lives aren't always that great.
Just hang in there. You will meet your true love one day.
Be kind to her. Have the courage to tell her that you love her.
Wish you all the best.