whatevs
Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
- Jan 15, 2022
- 2,914
I spent at least a decade jerking off to pornography (and had just one lesser sexual experience and a few even lesser ones in total). I still wank often, going through the motions. You become conditioned to do that because it used to be a coping mechanism.
These last years it has just dawned on me. Now that I have no libido left all that remains is an animal act and things that we hide for good reason. It might be years of sleep dysfunction or depression but I lost my libido completely. Now genitals are disgusting (to me). Fucking is disgusting (to me). It's almost funny when I see the adoration and incensed attention these things cause in people, because to me they are either indifferent or a bit repulsive.
It really does me make feel distanced from the human condition. I don't see this even in a whiny way, it just is. I'm a complete and utter weirdo and do not belong here very much. People like me might be called to become spiritual, this might be why religious celibacy has always existed.
These last years it has just dawned on me. Now that I have no libido left all that remains is an animal act and things that we hide for good reason. It might be years of sleep dysfunction or depression but I lost my libido completely. Now genitals are disgusting (to me). Fucking is disgusting (to me). It's almost funny when I see the adoration and incensed attention these things cause in people, because to me they are either indifferent or a bit repulsive.
It really does me make feel distanced from the human condition. I don't see this even in a whiny way, it just is. I'm a complete and utter weirdo and do not belong here very much. People like me might be called to become spiritual, this might be why religious celibacy has always existed.
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