butterfly3
Student
- Apr 2, 2022
- 119
I've just lost interest in life and everything within it. Before, I had reasonable and specific reasons why I wanted to go.
But now, since starting uni a few months ago, things have got better. I've made a few friends (although the loneliness isn't really gone, it's still better), I'm not as stressed as before, and I try to take better care of myself. I should be out of this by now, but I'm not. I feel like this suicidal nature is just ingrained into my being now. I now believe that no matter how much things might get better, I'm just going to always have suicide at the back of my mind.
Since like three years ago, nothing has been the same. It's like something switched as soon as I turned 16 and progressively got worse since.
I don't enjoy life like I used to, and no matter what I do, suicide is always on the back burner of my mind.
I have just lost interest in everything that used to make me happy and living in general and I don't actually know if I'll be the same again.
I've seriously tried everything to get better, self-care, exercise, meditation, positive self talk, i even started therapy recently, but nothing seems to work.
I want to get my hands on Nembutal or something, I just want a peaceful way out, but there's so many laws and protection against it. If I want to go, then why is that such a big problem for everyone? It's my life; I should be able to do what I want with it. I just feel so done and so empty.
even if I want to go through with it, I have absolutely no method available or appealing to me. apart from maybe alcohol poisoning which I've been considering.
But now, since starting uni a few months ago, things have got better. I've made a few friends (although the loneliness isn't really gone, it's still better), I'm not as stressed as before, and I try to take better care of myself. I should be out of this by now, but I'm not. I feel like this suicidal nature is just ingrained into my being now. I now believe that no matter how much things might get better, I'm just going to always have suicide at the back of my mind.
Since like three years ago, nothing has been the same. It's like something switched as soon as I turned 16 and progressively got worse since.
I don't enjoy life like I used to, and no matter what I do, suicide is always on the back burner of my mind.
I have just lost interest in everything that used to make me happy and living in general and I don't actually know if I'll be the same again.
I've seriously tried everything to get better, self-care, exercise, meditation, positive self talk, i even started therapy recently, but nothing seems to work.
I want to get my hands on Nembutal or something, I just want a peaceful way out, but there's so many laws and protection against it. If I want to go, then why is that such a big problem for everyone? It's my life; I should be able to do what I want with it. I just feel so done and so empty.
even if I want to go through with it, I have absolutely no method available or appealing to me. apart from maybe alcohol poisoning which I've been considering.
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