I don't know where to CTB with SN

[ceramic_apple]

Background: I (18F) live in a city apartment with my boyfriend, he's in school most days and I work. I can't do anything at my parents' homes. My car is at my dad's and I can pretty much say with certainty that I won't be able to drive myself anywhere. If my bf suspects something is wrong he'll call 911 immediately. I can't CTB outside; by the time my SN gets here and my antiemetic prescription is filled there will probably be a few feet of snow.

I'm wondering if I should tell my bf that my dad is picking me up to stay with him for the night. If he's at school while my father "gets me", I can go to a hotel and take my SN there. Still, the unfamiliarity will be so fucking sad. Will I be found before I decay in a hospital? Will I be heard if I convulse and breathe agonally? WWYD?

 

[Epilogue]

If you go to a hotel they'll find you in 24 hours or less since house keeping comes in to clean. Although if you're using a hotel people can still barge on the occasion it gets too loud.

 

[dinosavr]

Any kind of a solo trip is an option for you?

 

[TheHolySword]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. It's hard enough to be in the mindset that you are ready to die, it's even harder to not have a place to go to. Your best option would be to try to get to a hotel. It's unlikely that you'll be interrupted or found in time. But I understand the feeling of how impersonal and empty that can be. You'll be in a strange place without love and comfort, and you have to be ready to be truly alone when you do this. But if you are certain, this would be your most likely chance to ctb. Whatever you decide, I am wishing you the best. I hope that you find the peace you're looking for

 

[Thisisme373]

I'm also stressed about where I can ctb with sn. I would prefer to do it in my room but I live with roommates that are always home and they'll likely hear the agonal breathing.
Hotel is an option but like you I also worry about if I'm heard or found before I die, or if I fail and have thrown up everywhere. I agree it's also sad to have to do it in hotel.
I wish I had a gun to just end it fast, why does it have to be so difficult to die.

 

[ceramic_apple]

Any kind of a solo trip is an option for you?

I suppose I could, but it might be hard for me to get a hotel room. I worry they'll ID me. I also want to be found shortly after I die

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. It's hard enough to be in the mindset that you are ready to die, it's even harder to not have a place to go to. Your best option would be to try to get to a hotel. It's unlikely that you'll be interrupted or found in time. But I understand the feeling of how impersonal and empty that can be. You'll be in a strange place without love and comfort, and you have to be ready to be truly alone when you do this. But if you are certain, this would be your most likely chance to ctb. Whatever you decide, I am wishing you the best. I hope that you find the peace you're looking for

This comment really means a lot Thank you

I'm also stressed about where I can ctb with sn. I would prefer to do it in my room but I live with roommates that are always home and they'll likely hear the agonal breathing.
Hotel is an option but like you I also worry about if I'm heard or found before I die, or if I fail and have thrown up everywhere. I agree it's also sad to have to do it in hotel.
I wish I had a gun to just end it fast, why does it have to be so difficult to die.

I'm the same way with barbiturates, but as long as I know I'll die I'm okay. I really hope things go your way <3 Take care of yourself