I am stuck living with my parents, I've tried numerous times to get out of here, applying for jobs every single day only to be reminded I am a useless person in society.
I don't think there's a way out of here. I am engaged, but I don't think we will ever see eachother. There's no way out of here for me. I'm tired of suffering every single day, being reminded I am seen as subhuman by the general population, that nobody takes me seriously and I will always suffer no matter what I do, even if i pretend to be normal to please others.
I feel so weak. I feel horrible for taking things from my parents or expecting them to help me. I don't deserve help, i should be providing something, being of use to the world somehow, but I'm not, I'm useless. I have no skills i can reliably make use of. I used to enjoy drawing, coding, and web design, but now I feel like I'm not capable of anything. I cannot find motivation or energy to work while depressed. I am trapped.
I want to CTB, but my only concern is my partner. I know this will upset them a lot, and I think i would stop feeling this way if we could live together and i could get out of here, but I feel like there's no chance. I've lived here for 20 years and have never moved or traveled outside of my home, and can't because we are not wealthy. My mother has told me to just get a job, and trust me I have been trying. I have been applying to jobs every day only to not hear back and its only chipped away at my morale even more. Is there anything i can do besides waste away for a few more years in hopes my partner can help me out of here?
I don't think there's a way out of here. I am engaged, but I don't think we will ever see eachother. There's no way out of here for me. I'm tired of suffering every single day, being reminded I am seen as subhuman by the general population, that nobody takes me seriously and I will always suffer no matter what I do, even if i pretend to be normal to please others.
I feel so weak. I feel horrible for taking things from my parents or expecting them to help me. I don't deserve help, i should be providing something, being of use to the world somehow, but I'm not, I'm useless. I have no skills i can reliably make use of. I used to enjoy drawing, coding, and web design, but now I feel like I'm not capable of anything. I cannot find motivation or energy to work while depressed. I am trapped.
I want to CTB, but my only concern is my partner. I know this will upset them a lot, and I think i would stop feeling this way if we could live together and i could get out of here, but I feel like there's no chance. I've lived here for 20 years and have never moved or traveled outside of my home, and can't because we are not wealthy. My mother has told me to just get a job, and trust me I have been trying. I have been applying to jobs every day only to not hear back and its only chipped away at my morale even more. Is there anything i can do besides waste away for a few more years in hopes my partner can help me out of here?
