Venting i dont know how to keep going

[nutshelf]

i just wish something good could happen. anything. i wish i was never born into the family i was, and i wish i had the capacity to love myself but i dont. i know this is my inner mother speaking to me but its a part of me that will never ever let me have my peace. i wish she never let me go, i wish i never had to start taking care of myself so early, i wish my whole fucking life was different and i dont even want to start anything from here.