I recently survived an attempt with over 100 maximum strength muscle relaxants. I just wrote my note, took the pills and blacked out. Next thing I know I wake up in the ICU hearing a couple of priests praying over me. Once I could start talking and moving again I was told that I had been in a coma for the last few days and that as soon as they brought me in I had a seizure right there and they had to intubate me. I was also told that a friend called 911, but I don't remember making such a phone call or talking to anybody after I took the pills. So here I sit with the same chronic condition and it feels like death is off the table after I saw how much it devastated my family that I almost died. It feels the only way I can do it now is to make it look like an accident in some way.
15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
I'm sorry to hear you had to experience that and are still suffering from your condition. I hope you're feeling better now and have recovered from being in hospital. Sending you hugs and best wishes
No, I still feel like shit and and am going crazy trying to think of a way out that looks like an accident. Any ideas?
15dec
ember in the dark
- Dec 7, 2018
- 1,550
I'm really sorry, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. The only way to ctb that looks accidental I can think of is partial by pretending it's erotic asphyxiation but I imagine that'd be very embarrassing
I feel like I have to go skydiving and not open the chute or "fall" out of a hot air balloon at this point to be honest.
If your family saw your note and know how many tablets were in your system it's a really hard one to pretend was accidental. If they didn't see the note you could hedge about how many tablets you took, say it was an impulse thing, that you were in pain but had no intention to ctb and it was all a terrible mistake. People believe what they want to believe and no one really wants to believe their loved one is suicidal so you could possibly blag your way out of it.
That gives you some time to get your head together and think about what to do next. It's so difficult after a failed attempt as you're in a weird limbo or no man's land which is not helped by the "crisis/ panic mode" of everyone around you.
Sending you hugs xx
That gives you some time to get your head together and think about what to do next. It's so difficult after a failed attempt as you're in a weird limbo or no man's land which is not helped by the "crisis/ panic mode" of everyone around you.
Sending you hugs xx
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killing me softly
don't wake me, i plan on sleeping in
- Dec 28, 2018
- 171
i think that there are probably many people here who would love for their death to appear accidental or natural (including me) but there are several problems you're likely to face:
- with a recent attempt any method you use is likely to be suspected as a suicide
- methods that are more likely to appear accidental are likely to have some complicating factor such as lower success rate, pose a danger to others, or be a really unpleasant way to go
i completely empathize and hope you find something that works best for you.
Othermind
Specialist
- Dec 26, 2018
- 301
Sorry to hear that, I hope you didn't get any lasting damage/worsened your condition.
As for ctb looking like an accident...I can't think of anything that isn't extremely unreliable like driving your car off a cliff. If you live near a mountain range you could pretend to go hiking and see if there's someplace high enough to jump from, but mountain paths are usually pretty safe so I wouldn't count on it.
I'm afraid all the "good" methods have pretty much 0 chance of looking like an accident.
As for ctb looking like an accident...I can't think of anything that isn't extremely unreliable like driving your car off a cliff. If you live near a mountain range you could pretend to go hiking and see if there's someplace high enough to jump from, but mountain paths are usually pretty safe so I wouldn't count on it.
I'm afraid all the "good" methods have pretty much 0 chance of looking like an accident.
When I read about 'accidental deaths' online they always seem to be random falls from mountain walks or people caught out in bad weather or drowning and I think these are tricky to fake sadly
stellabelle
ethereal
- Dec 14, 2018
- 3,919
I'm sorry you went through all of that. Recovering from an overdose certainly wasn't easy - I had a similar experience.
Unfortunately it is quite difficult to stage an accidental death - most accidents usually involve vehicles, or falling from great heights.
Unfortunately it is quite difficult to stage an accidental death - most accidents usually involve vehicles, or falling from great heights.
SiArc
sassy and sarcastic-y
- Dec 10, 2018
- 230
I empathize with you and I am sorry you came back (because you did not want to come back). I agree with the others that now that they know it will be extremely hard to make anything look like an accident. My thoughts are with you.
Ch92921
The call of the void
- Dec 29, 2018
- 909
Accident??? Who takes accidentally 100 pillss.
511115
_.__-_.__
- Jan 4, 2019
- 45
They're saying they need to make their future attempt look like an accident due to family finding out about this current attempt.
Funny, I had the opposite reaction. I figured now my family knew suicide was inevitable.
Lots die from CO poisoning accidentally but if you did that it would be to much of a coincidence for your family to believe it was accidental.i think.
fwiw, close ones will feel what they will feel if it's an accident or intentional. It's really hard to not think of them. But when we are in such pain and believe there is no way out, we must do what is best for us. Writing this I feel your pain. There is nothing easy about this.
