SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
Been a while since I last had a rant, so here I fucking go. Its been a bitch of a few weeks. I am now past caring what happens. I have the little one tomorrow, after that, I might as well just get the job done. I could attempt to go on, but I dont friggin care one way or the other.
I was in the pit, the deepest, darkest hole I have ever known. Fuckin scary place. It started because of the inconsiderate bastards who moved in upstairs. Fuckin arseholes is a insult to all arseholes. That got me well down and it just carried on. My DLA was changing to PIP. UK welfare system and its corrupt. After completing a huge form and sending it to them, I get a face to face where some stupid cow decides I am not disabled enough to warrant any more money from this govt. Nothing has changed in 11 years, so what the fuck that is all about, I dont know. But, as the title says, I dont friggin care, shove the money where the sun dont shine. So deeper I go.
I still get some money. But I noticed they changed it when I looked at my bank account. What is that about then? Then today, another fuckin brown envelope arrives. Another nice long form to fill in so some twat behind a desk can decide if I am fit for work or not. If I am, then I need to get a job or they take that money as well. Disabled, with mental health issues amongst other things, the wrong side of old, who the flying fuck is going to employ me? I dont friggin care really.
Then Friday, I get the ultra sound on my groin to see if I have the big C or not. The fact that my right ball is about the size of a good lemon, is sore, and antibiotics did nothing to reduce the swelling, kind of tells its own story. Blood in my urine, loss of appetite, yeah, looking good. So deeper I drop. Is there a fuckin bottom here or what? I dont friggin care if there is or not, I doubt I will ever reach it.
Then earlier today, I was on here [theres a friggin surprise for you] and I saw about the stupidest thread I have ever seen. Some total ijit asking what happens if you stop brushing your teeth. You know who you are. I was half expecting the question of could it kill you. I mean a bath full of piranhas was obviously a joke, it had to be, could not be anything else. But this was asked in all seriousness. I have better things to think about than what happens if I brush my teeth or not in the next 6 months. I might get a cavity, fuck me, the end of the world is nigh. To add insult to injury, it was labelled as a discussion. When I read some of the older members saying how things have changed, for the worse, I am starting to understand where they are coming from. Post like that [thankfully it got deleted I think] just bring the place into disrepute.
My tinnitus has been horrendous of late. Some bright spark in audiology [although they never told me about it] said I might like to try CBT to help. I might like to subject myself to more by way of noise, to help. So yeah, fuck the CBT, that aint happening. It never did anything for me except make matters worse. I have had headphones on a lot, been outside, a lot, had all the windows open [I live on a very busy main road] and all I have to show for it, worse tinnitus than ever. I mean for fucks sake, why are these people paid to give shit advice like that? I am just past friggin caring. Going insane would probably not be a bad option right now. Deeper I go. Status Quo [bless em] wrote a song for me, Down Down. That about sums up my recent travels.
Slowly I am just having the will to live sucked out of me. Life is a vampire, sucking me dry. I dont know how I can keep coming back from the constant descent I find myself on. I am up one day, high as a kite and optimistic, then it all comes crashing down around me and deeper I go. Its not a rollercoaster, its the fuckin Himalayas. Everest one day, Kathmandu the next. How is that any kind of life? I dont friggin care any more.
Hear me, I DONT FRIGGIN CARE ok.
RANT OVER.
Disclaimer: Anyone easily offended, or anyone who wants to tell to me what this post is actually about. I dont friggin care!!
I was in the pit, the deepest, darkest hole I have ever known. Fuckin scary place. It started because of the inconsiderate bastards who moved in upstairs. Fuckin arseholes is a insult to all arseholes. That got me well down and it just carried on. My DLA was changing to PIP. UK welfare system and its corrupt. After completing a huge form and sending it to them, I get a face to face where some stupid cow decides I am not disabled enough to warrant any more money from this govt. Nothing has changed in 11 years, so what the fuck that is all about, I dont know. But, as the title says, I dont friggin care, shove the money where the sun dont shine. So deeper I go.
I still get some money. But I noticed they changed it when I looked at my bank account. What is that about then? Then today, another fuckin brown envelope arrives. Another nice long form to fill in so some twat behind a desk can decide if I am fit for work or not. If I am, then I need to get a job or they take that money as well. Disabled, with mental health issues amongst other things, the wrong side of old, who the flying fuck is going to employ me? I dont friggin care really.
Then Friday, I get the ultra sound on my groin to see if I have the big C or not. The fact that my right ball is about the size of a good lemon, is sore, and antibiotics did nothing to reduce the swelling, kind of tells its own story. Blood in my urine, loss of appetite, yeah, looking good. So deeper I drop. Is there a fuckin bottom here or what? I dont friggin care if there is or not, I doubt I will ever reach it.
Then earlier today, I was on here [theres a friggin surprise for you] and I saw about the stupidest thread I have ever seen. Some total ijit asking what happens if you stop brushing your teeth. You know who you are. I was half expecting the question of could it kill you. I mean a bath full of piranhas was obviously a joke, it had to be, could not be anything else. But this was asked in all seriousness. I have better things to think about than what happens if I brush my teeth or not in the next 6 months. I might get a cavity, fuck me, the end of the world is nigh. To add insult to injury, it was labelled as a discussion. When I read some of the older members saying how things have changed, for the worse, I am starting to understand where they are coming from. Post like that [thankfully it got deleted I think] just bring the place into disrepute.
My tinnitus has been horrendous of late. Some bright spark in audiology [although they never told me about it] said I might like to try CBT to help. I might like to subject myself to more by way of noise, to help. So yeah, fuck the CBT, that aint happening. It never did anything for me except make matters worse. I have had headphones on a lot, been outside, a lot, had all the windows open [I live on a very busy main road] and all I have to show for it, worse tinnitus than ever. I mean for fucks sake, why are these people paid to give shit advice like that? I am just past friggin caring. Going insane would probably not be a bad option right now. Deeper I go. Status Quo [bless em] wrote a song for me, Down Down. That about sums up my recent travels.
Slowly I am just having the will to live sucked out of me. Life is a vampire, sucking me dry. I dont know how I can keep coming back from the constant descent I find myself on. I am up one day, high as a kite and optimistic, then it all comes crashing down around me and deeper I go. Its not a rollercoaster, its the fuckin Himalayas. Everest one day, Kathmandu the next. How is that any kind of life? I dont friggin care any more.
Hear me, I DONT FRIGGIN CARE ok.
RANT OVER.
Disclaimer: Anyone easily offended, or anyone who wants to tell to me what this post is actually about. I dont friggin care!!
