Venting i dont feel whole anymore

[iori]

i have a boyfriend of one year, i love him very much. he makes me feel complete. at the start of the year a friend of his started being vocal about her crush on him. she flirts with him constantly even though she knows were dating, shes always know. me and my boyfriend have access to each others instas so sometimes i look at their convos on there, i know its weird but i cant help it. she flirts, tells him all the sexual things, tells hims she loves him. in person she constantly holds his hand and gives him these love letters. my boyfriend is scared of abandonment and he feels like shes gonna stop being his friend if he tells her to stop. i feel so empty. it sounds dramatic but i genuinely feel like a chunk of me is missing, i wish he understood how much hes hurting me and that if this keeps going i wont be able to live anymore. shes coming to his house today and probably gonna do all those things all over again, all i can do is lay in my bed, harm myself and think about ctb

 

[Letgo]

Hi, I am sorry and I can understand how you feel. I really think you need to talk to your boyfriend and tell him.how much the situation is hurting you. Depending on his answer you can continue or not.
I wish you the best and you will be thought of.

 

[silence of death]

I wouldnt recommend being so dependant on someone, people do stupid things, all the time, they will hurt you, and stuff
but you should really talk to your boyfriend about those feeling, even if you risk scaring him off, those words needs to come out

 

[Leeroy14R]

I always try to avoid relationships as much as possible. It only takes a short while for the other party to realize that I am a complete moron, and that iam easily replaceable. Worse of no one wants to be around me, even my own family. And I don't think anyone wants to date a person who is into suicidal bullshit. I think its a terribly great sin for any suicidal person to enter a relationship, and have kids. Its not that I hate relationships, its that I force myself to, because i don't think anyone deserves to go through a short transect of happines and love, only for the other party to commit suicide. I don't think anyone deserves to go through out their whole life knowing that their father killed themselves. What you can do is try to make yourself asexaul or some bullshit. I am planning to cut my testicles-off next year. But if I can afford to cut my testicles, might as well just kms. I don't know, I spend the whole day looking for animal carcasses, to have sex with my small penis, and I spend the whole day starring and goblin porn. I don't know much about relationships, but interms of having a boyfriend, you don't have one. If he really loves you or something he would only do it with you maybe... Don't follow any of my advice, I am quite retarded, and iam below average intellect. I watch too much porn... i don't know.