B
BadChanges
Member
- Sep 23, 2019
- 90
Everything is temporary. Your feelings, your appearance. I look at people and at some point they look miserable. Why would I want to give myself the false hope that things will be okay? It's delusional. Things will crumble once again. I might have a honeymoon for a month, a year, but it is temporary.
I look good. A side from my physical problems and my weak body I have a good looking face. Because I don't experience pleasure, excitement and I'm in constant feeling of chronic pain and disability, the only thing that I see is how my face looks. I dread the day that this will degrade too(balding, etc. ), and what would I even be ?
My biggest problem is lack of sense of identity and belonging on top of my other problems.
I don't want to take pills and make myself belong. I just want to belong naturally. Even if this world fucking sucks.
I don't even know anymore, my feelings change constantly between despair and 'content'. I just now I have no future, and I don't even want to make myself a future. I'm 29, and it's too late considering all the issues I have.
I'm not a man. I'm a fucking kid. No sex drive, nothing.
I want this to end, i'm too overwhelmed. I got nothing.
I look good. A side from my physical problems and my weak body I have a good looking face. Because I don't experience pleasure, excitement and I'm in constant feeling of chronic pain and disability, the only thing that I see is how my face looks. I dread the day that this will degrade too(balding, etc. ), and what would I even be ?
My biggest problem is lack of sense of identity and belonging on top of my other problems.
I don't want to take pills and make myself belong. I just want to belong naturally. Even if this world fucking sucks.
I don't even know anymore, my feelings change constantly between despair and 'content'. I just now I have no future, and I don't even want to make myself a future. I'm 29, and it's too late considering all the issues I have.
I'm not a man. I'm a fucking kid. No sex drive, nothing.
I want this to end, i'm too overwhelmed. I got nothing.
Last edited: