Venting I don't enjoy anything anymore

[bullfrog61]

Title.
I used to be a pretty upbeat person, or at least I could be at times, but that person has been gone for at least a year. I live with my parents and I have no friends left in my hometown, they've all moved on because they were more successful and found ways out.
I don't enjoy anything I do anymore. Nothing. None of my hobbies interest me. If I go and spend time with other people, I only get like 30-60 mins at most (if I'm lucky) before the thoughts start coming into my head. I think about all the ways I've failed at life and how badly I want to die, and how I'm nothing compared to the people around me, and how I have no way out of my situation, and then I'm silent for the rest of the time.
I don't smile anymore. When I do, it's fake. I've lost the ability to talk with people, because even if I cared what they had to say, I just wouldn't be able to focus on what they're saying. The words go in one ear and out the other now, I don't process anything.
I'm a complete failure at life. I've wasted every opportunity I've ever been given, and time just keeps going by. It's time for me to go.

 

[human909]

Same, I also used to be a upbeat person. Used to enjoy everything but now i hate myself for being stupid, having severe social anxiety and being alone. I also want to leave this world.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I feel similarly. Since I've become severely depressed absolutely nothing brings pleasure anymore. Anhedonia is the worst eperience, I could deal with sad thoughts if I could at least get some relief with occasional pleasant thoughts, but my brain refuses anything pleasant whatsoever.

What makes things even harder is I wasn't like this before. Just last year I was feeling upbeat and exctited by a lot of things. But everything good in my life fell apart, and now I'm left wading through the smoking rubble of broken dreams.

 

[bananaolympus]

Same boat, video games, anime, movies many forms of media kept me sane, but with time they start to lose the appeal until they become hollow you just can't escape reality the older you get