I don’t belong in this world, insecurities…everyone else seems to be doing normal

[hellispink]

Everyone seems so normal. They work do their activities meet friends and laugh. I can't even remember the last time I smiled or had a moment without anxiety and distress. I see girls wearing whatever they want but I see myself in the mirror and all I want is to hide my ugly fat body that I think I have. I don't even know whats real. My arms are so big, how could I wear that ?? My legs are so big how could I even wear that shirt? What about my ugly face the one I need to hide? Don't look at me because i will remember my bullies from the past and enter in panic mode. Others i find dont live so shitty like me, what a misery is this existence. I am a loser.

 

[yuno]

I relate to your thoughts here so much. I wish I couldn't be perceived by anyone because I imagine if anyone is thinking of me, it must be in some horrible, embarrassing light, the way I perceive myself. And most of the time, I don't even know how to perceive myself. Everything seems so skewed. My identity gets lost. I don't know who or what I am anymore. But I know whatever the hell it is, I don't want it to be perceived. I'm always so disgusted with myself. The insides and the outsides. I've viciously hated myself for so long and I don't know how long I can handle it anymore. I'm sorry that you are having similar struggles. I don't want anyone to feel this way.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never seen myself as belonging to this world at all personally. There's nothing here for me. Maybe some people are just not meant for living but however I would not want to belong in a world where so much cruelty exists anyway.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Normal people seem so strange …

 

[Lonerzepam]

Normal people seem so strange …

They do right?

 

[gimzero]

We all going to die one day so nobody belongs here and we left behing everything.