I didn't go through with it

[deep_end]

Yesterday I posted that I planned to go through with taking the SN. Unfortunately, I panicked and couldn't go along with my plans. I feel terrible. Horrible. It makes me feel so bad that I hyped this up in my head just to let myself down again. I'm going to keep trying to go through with it, but I won't post another goodbye thread until I actually consume it.

 

[アホペンギン]

It is very hard to bring yourself to drink the SN, especially knowing that afterwards it may be the end and there will be nothingness, despite the fact that nothingness is your goal due to your agonizing life. I think it is SI that causes this, knowing deep down that the SN can kill you your SI has been influenced as well, now it knows to stop you from drinking it but you can beat this SI since it isn't built into your body, it is very hard to do that for some people though.

Anyways, I wish you the best with your future plans and hopefully you can manage to take your mind off of these negative feelings that you failed your attempt. I know failing an attempt is very disappointing because I have failed nearly a dozen attempts so I understand your situation. Take some time to calm down and recompose yourself before trying again. Best wishes.

 

[SVEN]

Be kind to yourself, go well.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be awful being in that situaution, I just think that after all suicide isn't straightforward even if one has a method by their side, I really wish it's much easier to finally be free from this existence. But anyway best wishes.