I desperately want to die but no method is good enough for me.

[TheSeeker]

I desperately want to die but no method is good enough for me. I am autistic so I don't like a loud sound beside my head and all my teeth and face getting destroyed being the last thing I hear. I don't like the idea of swallowing a giant clump of salt that I can't throw up that takes forever to kill me and makes my fingers blue. I don't want to strangle for 20 minutes and flop around piss myself while I die. I don't want to jump from a high place and split in half on a fence, or behead myself with a long drop. And I don't want to pass out from carbon monoxide while my brain feeds me some nightmare flashback reel in real time while I turn into a red mummy that looks like it died clawing and screaming.

Jesus! Isn't there a way to get out of this nightmare that isn't a nightmare itself? Please.... :(

 

[ZeroRedz02]

Me too i feel bad for it, SN the less painful??? I don't know bro.. i have it there but i can't get to do it.

 

[Bishop]

Such is the nature of survival instinct that we all face.

 

[soon4good]

I feel similarly and it's sometimes OCD for me that makes it worse. Sigh. It's like life exists just to be unbeareable.
Hopefully one day euthanasia for at the very least severe mental illness will be more widely accepted and available in more places but that's wishful thinking for as long as humanity exists.