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idelttoilfsadness21

idelttoilfsadness21

I wanna be dead so badly nothing makes sense
Jan 6, 2025
328
Thankfully no one saw or know so I can talk about it, but I'm certain I was just meant to die.

I had to grab tea… I never bothered anyone in my life, and know for a fact I have been a selective victim as a kind, introverted, social, quiet person, and all I wanted was just to make tea with hot water…

I was shut off of my door all because my key is broken… and I was never offered help my whole life and I had to either help others for my own sake or not expect it in return, and it's traumatizing because…

I knew this person… I have always been around crazy people myWHOLElife!!

This person locked me off because she has a roommate. I never wanted a roommate! I tell people don't room anyone with me because I am scared of people… I don't hate them, but I fear them so damn much.

I was finished making the hot water as it isn't a tea pot or a coffee maker I can use to distill the temp, and I had saw she locked me as I was requested to use a trash can to hold the door…

I was afraid for this move since I can remember… I have always been traumatized by existing, living with people, and breathing the same air as people, and I truly wonder what I did wrong or what I didn't do right?

Because I thought I did everything…

I had to use the restroom… only employees gets their own restroom and people can't use it if it's an emergency… been told to wait in line and do what it's important and my situation will wait later…

Can't you see I'm being harassed? Can't you see I am not in the damn mood too?

Why are people so difficult and hard on those who are trying or in general struggling openly for people to see…

I was dealing with a battle for an hour as I had to just walk, use the restroom, be in boredom, and cry…

I cried so much and just shouted so much words, remembering my ex boyfriend and how he even didn't help me while being my last family I knew, I don't even have true family, and I plan on going back to my abusive parents…

At the very least, I can die knowing they can see my corpse, but I've told stupid inconsiderate people my problems, ignored it, and they get surprised I wanna die…

And to make it worse, still guilttrip me, and place me in this hold for 37 hrs, and for what? Because you're an idiot?!?

I have nothing to live for!! I want to be gone and I will do every single thing to do it :'))
 
Last edited:
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human909

human909

I just want peace
Dec 30, 2024
186
Im very sorry for the pain you are going to hope you can find peace soon.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,660
I had roommates at an expensive($35,000 a year in today's money) all boy boarding school as a teenager--When I graduated at 18, I vowed never to have another male roommate again for the rest of my entire life, and I kept that vow
 
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