Venting I couldn't do it and it's pissing me off

[intothevoid]

I was supposed to CTB yesterday. Yet at the last minute, for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it and I don't know why and it's driving me crazy. A month ago when I did do it, my ex (who I haven't been with for 2 months) got to me and made sure I didn't die and now for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I keep telling myself that it's fine, I'll do it today but my head's all over the place. Sorry just had to get that off my chest

 

[I screwed up]

,what method u doing ? At least u have the method identified .. I can't make up my mind how to Ctb

 

[intothevoid]

,what method u doing ? At least u have the method identified .. I can't make up my mind how to Ctb

Going with SN. Seems to be the most peaceful after N, but that's out of my price range.

 

[Dutch]

If you couldnt do it yet, then you are probably not ready yet for this, maybe deep in your heart that u still believe in a solution or you see hope or reasons to still living for. One day you will feel that your 200% ready for it without planning an exact date.

 

[okaoki]

Please don't blame yourself ,take a deep breath and assess your situation , planning it's important , sorry for bad english

 

[Rachel74]

You couldn't do it as you are not ready.

 

[intothevoid]

You couldn't do it as you are not ready.

That's the part that's making me hate myself. A month ago I was ready.

 

[Rachel74]

That's the part that's making me hate myself. A month ago I was ready.

But what changed in a month?