Venting I could have been someone. I didn't get to choose, none of us did.

[LifeAfterDeath00]

The way they look at you, when you ask for help. the way they make you wait for 3 weeks to see a counsellor when you are suicidal. The way you'r family abandons you when you tell them you can't do this anymore. The way they make you, treat you like you are some sort of monster. I didn't ask to be born, let alone have mental health issues. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask for a family who clearly hates me, but they are willing to keep me around so that society doesn't question them.
I just wanted to lead a life away from them. I wanted to disappear. But my bloody fucking mental disorders will never leave me, and some people will exploit me.
I didn't ask for this shit.
And the worst part is I told them I will CTB. Now I fucked my own plan up. I am angry, hurt.
But I am still trying to keep myself rational, and lay low until I get a chance to kill myself.

 

[BlackPoppet]

The way they look at you, when you ask for help. the way they make you wait for 3 weeks to see a counsellor when you are suicidal. The way you'r family abandons you when you tell them you can't do this anymore. The way they make you, treat you like you are some sort of monster. I didn't ask to be born, let alone have mental health issues. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask for a family who clearly hates me, but they are willing to keep me around so that society doesn't question them.
I just wanted to lead a life away from them. I wanted to disappear. But my bloody fucking mental disorders will never leave me, and some people will exploit me.
I didn't ask for this shit.
And the worst part is I told them I will CTB. Now I fucked my own plan up. I am angry, hurt.
But I am still trying to keep myself rational, and lay low until I get a chance to kill myself.

 

[Why you?]

I haven't told anyone yet. I was thinking to. But imagining your situation...... I don't know anymore.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I really feel everything you wrote. I'm in the exact same situation myself. It's messed how people only seem to care on a surface level without truly understanding the daily suffering. But when we actually need help they demonize us over a life and conditions we didn't choose and never asked for.

 

[LifeAfterDeath00]

I haven't told anyone yet. I was thinking to. But imagining your situation...... I don't know anymore.

Never, even when you are on verge and your emotions take over, keep it in yourself. Don't. If not now, in near future they use it against you. I used to question why people kill themselves. I don't anymore. They think I am truly despicable, which makes things worse for me. You want clear consciousness before you CTB, or panic arises. Keep away from people, if you are certain suicide is your only option. If you fail, you are doomed. If they know, you are doomed. If you desperately need to talk, say you are gloomy but NEVER utter a word about CTB. Keep patience, don't be a fool like me. I am being regulated, so my SN/N whatever might be disposed off even before I get them. and that was my only last hope.

I really feel everything you wrote. I'm in the exact same situation myself. It's messed how people only seen to care on a surface level without truly understanding the daily suffering. But when we actually need help they demonize us over a life and conditions we didn't choose and never asked for.

it got worse for me. Even when I am normal, not my direct family, but people who truly despise you make snide comments about it. i am not saying my family is any saint either. I am trying to be rational and logical. My life is actually over. They treat me like trash. And to make things worse, if you don't earn money, the abuse and exploitation doesn't end. There is a tension which has been built up, and I am quit certain things will never be normal. Leave no room for error. What has been done, has been done. I will try to stay calm, my only mission now is to CTB. If I get dragged by their false promise again, I will be stuck in this fucking loop. So, it is better until I get a sure fire way to CTB. I don't communicate with others face to face. I am sorry for being all over the place, and sounding inarticulate. I am just in a vulnearable position, so trying to keep myself rational is hard.

 

[selfhater]

i relate to ur words so much:(

 

[TheLastSacrifice]

The way they look at you, when you ask for help. the way they make you wait for 3 weeks to see a counsellor when you are suicidal. The way you'r family abandons you when you tell them you can't do this anymore. The way they make you, treat you like you are some sort of monster. I didn't ask to be born, let alone have mental health issues. I didn't have a choice. I didn't ask for a family who clearly hates me, but they are willing to keep me around so that society doesn't question them.
I just wanted to lead a life away from them. I wanted to disappear. But my bloody fucking mental disorders will never leave me, and some people will exploit me.
I didn't ask for this shit.
And the worst part is I told them I will CTB. Now I fucked my own plan up. I am angry, hurt.
But I am still trying to keep myself rational, and lay low until I get a chance to kill myself.

Not hard to come up with another plan. You don't have to live in the same home as your family unless you Are underage