Great. It's gotten to the point where I've gotten used to feeling better, and just accepting it, while still being able to adopt a mindset of going on a whim every night. It could be this night, or the next. I feel comfortable, safe, and secure this way. Before, getting better would rattle me to bits and pieces, and more, because that would mean holding off, but cognitively, I now (at least) feel like I don't need to hold off, just because I feel better. Yes, it may delay it by a day or two, but once things settle, I'll just go upstairs and drink it without thinking.
All I can hope for I guess is that death isn't bad, it's the lead up to death that's bad, and in my case that will be covered because of my method, so it will not feel bad at all.
I lean on the hope that this is not a final goodbye to this life. So many loose ends. There will be someway to redeem.
I am so incredibly angry. I look forward to a way to make things right.
For some strange reason, I developed an infatuation with Taylor Swift. I don't like her. She is the epitome of what I dislike about music and society in general. I have never found her attractive. I wish my mind was right.
I don't plan on drinking again tomorrow. Want to be ready to go in case I do.
I'm bored. It's a boring life when you are waiting to die. There's no point to think negatively. And I enjoy any positivity that comes, even though it is very small. But I need something to do, desperately, even if it's just for one day. I might bust out Metroid Prime, but I don't think I will be able to stomach it. All I can do is watch videos that I do not pay attention to at all, and check SS when I get the urge to CTB. Checking this site, knowing the option is there.
All I can hope for I guess is that death isn't bad, it's the lead up to death that's bad, and in my case that will be covered because of my method, so it will not feel bad at all.
I lean on the hope that this is not a final goodbye to this life. So many loose ends. There will be someway to redeem.
I am so incredibly angry. I look forward to a way to make things right.
For some strange reason, I developed an infatuation with Taylor Swift. I don't like her. She is the epitome of what I dislike about music and society in general. I have never found her attractive. I wish my mind was right.
I don't plan on drinking again tomorrow. Want to be ready to go in case I do.
I'm bored. It's a boring life when you are waiting to die. There's no point to think negatively. And I enjoy any positivity that comes, even though it is very small. But I need something to do, desperately, even if it's just for one day. I might bust out Metroid Prime, but I don't think I will be able to stomach it. All I can do is watch videos that I do not pay attention to at all, and check SS when I get the urge to CTB. Checking this site, knowing the option is there.
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