I could easily jump off the roof of my apartment building but the thought of it is so terrifying I can't

[bluville]

I feel like such a fraud over it lmao. It live in a pretty tall building too so it's almost garunteed I'd die from it, but I just think about the seconds before I hit the ground and the fear and maybe even regret I'd feel. It really scared me, it doesn't scare me as much as dying from some painless chemical cocktail. Even though I'd still have those thoughts (maybe idk), Its just way less scary. I'm not even sure why I'd feel regret, my life is complete shit anyway.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm exactly in the same situation with same thoughts about jumping. It is so scary and terrifying.

 

[dondiasco]

i live by a freeway bridge that's pretty high that would guarantee to kill me. the thought of jumping and being alive for long enough to feel my bones crush is enough to dismiss that option even if i were to die on impact.
i'd say the only pro to that is the view you get from such a high place. i'm not afraid of heights.

 

[charlotte_]

Your situation is similar to mine. I wish there's a way for me to get high enough and just do it, but no access to drugs right now. I'm also not sure wether death will be instant or I'll feel the pain of my body crushing.

 

[FuneralCry]

Jumping certainly sounds like such a terrifying method to me personally, I envy and admire those who had the courage for it, they certainly were so brave. But I know that I would personally never fear a painless reliable, poison method, if I had access to such a thing I would feel so incredibly relieved, to me with methods like that there could never be anything to fear as I could easily end all the suffering and be able to forget everything for all eternity. But I do hate how the survival instinct makes going through with ctb to be something so difficult, I think that many who manage to succeed with methods like jumping just get so determined to be gone.

 

[NoStanding]

You don't need to feel like a fraud. It's normal to be naturally opposed to something so nerve-racking. Anyhow I guess your regret might be because you will be leaving people behind if you decided to follow through with your plans.

I get it. For me, the thought of leaving my family is the reason I would struggle most with CTB. You may have different reasons, but anyhow, I hope you find something that makes your life feel less shitty.