Venting I constantly fantasize about falling off a bridge and into water.

[Pearl]

I wish there was something like a golden gate bridge near me. I dont have access to N or any other peaceful method. I am too scared of guns. But I can jump off a bridge. I know it'll be painful and before I was afraid of the pain, but not anymore. I would love to just let go but I dont have any bridges where I live. I'm not afraid of the pain of death anymore. I'll suffer for a few minutes if I have to but it has to be from a high fall into water . Anyone else at that point in their ctb journey?

 

[Zegers]

I think a lot about jumping, but from a building, this sack of shit that assigned me as a body to explode into a thousand pieces

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish that I wasn't so scared of jumping but maybe if I lived close to somewhere high and knowing the option was right there could help me get over my fear. I don't live near anywhere high enough to consider it as a method. I would put up with a bit of pain if it meant finally leaving this world, but my main fear would be the method failing somehow. I hate how it's so difficult to leave this life behind.

 

[Lifeaballache]

Are there ways to numb the mental pain when jumping? Wearing a blindfold so you don't see your death happening in front of you? Getting completely blind drunk so you almost feel like you can fly? What's everyone think?

 

[Pearl]

Are there ways to numb the mental pain when jumping? Wearing a blindfold so you don't see your death happening in front of you? Getting completely blind drunk so you almost feel like you can fly? What's everyone think?

I'm thinking of taking some ambien. My brother has some leftover that I've been saving.

I wish that I wasn't so scared of jumping but maybe if I lived close to somewhere high and knowing the option was right there could help me get over my fear. I don't live near anywhere high enough to consider it as a method. I would put up with a bit of pain if it meant finally leaving this world, but my main fear would be the method failing somehow. I hate how it's so difficult to leave this life behind.

I hate it too! I wish I could choose to be born or not, that way I would never have to worry about death as I would just refuse life before it even starts.

 

[thebunny]

i've always been scared of jumping since i'm sure that my SI would kick in halfway down. i'm scared because the last thing that i want to feel is regret. however, i do admire your courage for having it as your exit method. like you, i'm also not afraid of death anymore and would rather experience a little bit of temporary pain if it meant leaving this god awful of a life. i hope that your suffering ends and that you find your well-deserved peace soon. i wish you the best.

 

[obafgkm]

I sometimes fall from height in a dream, but I always wake up before hitting anything. Does it mean that I die in dreams? Is death really just waking up from a dream?

 

[Hollowillow]

I wish there was something like a golden gate bridge near me. I dont have access to N or any other peaceful method. I am too scared of guns. But I can jump off a bridge. I know it'll be painful and before I was afraid of the pain, but not anymore. I would love to just let go but I dont have any bridges where I live. I'm not afraid of the pain of death anymore. I'll suffer for a few minutes if I have to but it has to be from a high fall into water . Anyone else at that point in their ctb journey?

I think I read that it gas to be concrete. Water is like a cushion & drowning is horrible.

I get flashes that I hang. I think my SI is calling me for help, like the subconscious telling me we're dying & do something .. but too tempted to just do partial hanging. Consider it?

I sometimes fall from height in a dream, but I always wake up before hitting anything. Does it mean that I die in dreams? Is death really just waking up from a dream?

Death is more like falling asleep in a nightmare

 

[obafgkm]

Death is more like falling asleep in a nightmare

Do people fall asleep in a dream? I can't remember any. But I sometimes wake up from dream inside another dream a few times (in the same sleep), until I am really awake.

Is falling asleep in nightmare similar to dying from sickness?

 

[Zegers]

getting completely blind drunk so you almost feel like you can fly?

This

 

[Pearl]

I sometimes fall from height in a dream, but I always wake up before hitting anything. Does it mean that I die in dreams? Is death really just waking up from a dream?

I hope not if I die and then wake up in another reality I would be kinda pissed. I just want it to end forever. I

i've always been scared of jumping since i'm sure that my SI would kick in halfway down. i'm scared because the last thing that i want to feel is regret. however, i do admire your courage for having it as your exit method. like you, i'm also not afraid of death anymore and would rather experience a little bit of temporary pain if it meant leaving this god awful of a life. i hope that your suffering ends and that you find your well-deserved peace soon. i wish you the best.

I am afraid of that too but desperate. I was thinking about going the carbon monoxide route but I dont want to endanger someone else. I wish I just had some N lying around. Just having it would give me so much relief. Not having a readily avaliable route that isn't gruesome or excruciating makes me feel trapped.