almaPerdida
"Oh God, I’m so depressed." - Marvin
- Nov 24, 2023
- 142
I have my letter ready, and my SN is almost arriving. A lot of things have led me to a desire of CTB and finally making all the plans to it.
The last push was a heartbreak from a guy i met. I felt really betrayed, lost and like there wasn't any chance i'd be happy here. I asked for a signal to keep on living, then i meet him and shit happens. It felt like the universe was playing a cruel and evil joke on me instead.
He said we were moving too fast and that he wasn't ready for anything serious, and i gave him some space. Then started dating a month later. But my bruises started to heal slowly, and i found out some nasty stuff on him later. He does that everytime, with everyone. Love bombs and leaves, He also cheated on his bf like it wasn't a big thing. And those things make me feel a bit better about us not working out. I feel bad for his new bf.
Yesterday i went to a party with some friends and we had so much fun. So many funny and unexpected things happened. It felt like a glimpse of hope, a reminder that i hadn't seen everything life has to offer yet. I laughed a lot, drunk a lot, had a blast. This party might have just saved my life if i'm being honest.
I still don't know what to do with the SN when it arrives tho.
The last push was a heartbreak from a guy i met. I felt really betrayed, lost and like there wasn't any chance i'd be happy here. I asked for a signal to keep on living, then i meet him and shit happens. It felt like the universe was playing a cruel and evil joke on me instead.
He said we were moving too fast and that he wasn't ready for anything serious, and i gave him some space. Then started dating a month later. But my bruises started to heal slowly, and i found out some nasty stuff on him later. He does that everytime, with everyone. Love bombs and leaves, He also cheated on his bf like it wasn't a big thing. And those things make me feel a bit better about us not working out. I feel bad for his new bf.
Yesterday i went to a party with some friends and we had so much fun. So many funny and unexpected things happened. It felt like a glimpse of hope, a reminder that i hadn't seen everything life has to offer yet. I laughed a lot, drunk a lot, had a blast. This party might have just saved my life if i'm being honest.
I still don't know what to do with the SN when it arrives tho.