I can’t win....

[Hunter100]

I have actually been ok for the last two weeks. Then today I took my min pin to the vets because she started coughing, having trouble breathing and her tummy looks HUGE! I thought "omg I need to cut back on her food and she probably has allergies to something"
WRONG! She has Less then a month to live. Her heart has so much fluid around it that it is seeping into her stomach and her stomach is now so enlarged it is pressing against her lungs and organs!
I am in shock. I'm beyond inconsolable. This little dog loves me more then life itself and I her. She is only 6lbs and I have had her since she was 6 weeks. I know she is scared. I don't know what to do. There is no cure the only thing they could do is try to drain off some fluid but it could kill her at this point anyway.
Even though I'm sure she is in some pain, (how could she not be?) she is still happy and loving. But she is adamant about not leaving my side, even for a second! I will not allow her to suffer but at this point the vet thinks that she isn't in pain. Or very little. She is happy, eating and wonderful... except she's dying and fast. The horrible part is how dogs with this die. I don't want to go into details but it is horrific. I'll be damned if I allow that to happen. Should I wait to put her asleep until I see she is uncomfortable or do it now before something bad happens? The vet said she could have cardiac arrest or the fluid would become so much that she would eventually not be able to breath. I would never wait that long. But she is still trying to run around (even though she stops after and coughs)
I have such a absolute fear of those around me dying. It is actually to the point where I am consumed by worrying about my parents/animals death. I can't even explain how much I think about it and how upset I get.
(Now, my death? I could care less)
But when it comes to the ones around me that I love I can not handle them leaving. I'm absolutely broken right now.
I don't know... I can't even put into words how gutted and alone and sad I feel. Fuck

 

[Jean4]

I know how you feel. All I have in my life are my cats.

My cat Peach was my life. He was dying, but not in pain. I decided to put him to sleep. The hardest thing I ever did. Before he died I told him to come back to me.

I did try to kill myself after and failed.

Less than a year later, Milo came into my life.

Your baby will tell you when it's time.

 

[Hunter100]

I'm a absolute mess right now. I can't even breath it hurts so bad. I don't know what to do.

 

[Jean4]

I'm a absolute mess right now. I can't even breath it hurts so bad. I don't know what to do.

I do understand. That won't help with the pain, but I understand and am so very sorry.

 

[Hunter100]

She snuggled her head into my side under the covers and I just lost it. This world really fucking sucks. This little innocent creature who is so loving can't even get the surgery she needs (it wouldn't fix her, just maybe buy some time) because it will cost, when all said and done.. $4,200!!! That is what they actually quoted me today! So I might have to watch her suffocate on her own fluid because I don't have over 4 grand! I'm a single mom and there is NO way I can come up with anything g close to that. Every dime I have goes into feeding my horses and my little peanut. There is nothing "extra"
How can these people allow a innocent animal to possibly suffer because of money? I don't get it. I really don't. I hate life sometimes. I actually was starting to make a effort in life the last few weeks. But this is just another confirmation that every time I take a step forward I am knocked back 4.
Sorry for the rant/novel. Just feeling really alone.

 

[Rachel74]

My Daisy had to have 2 ops in the matter of a week so I know how you feel
Sending hugs to you both xxxxxx

 

[Hunter100]

She snuggled her head into my side under the covers and I just lost it. This world really fucking sucks. This little innocent creature who is so loving can't even get the surgery she needs (it wouldn't fix her, just maybe buy some time) because it will cost, when all said and done.. $4,200!!! That is what they actually quoted me today! So I might have to watch her suffocate on her own fluid because I don't have over 4 grand! I'm a single mom and there is NO way I can come up with anything g close to that. Every dime I have goes into feeding my horses and my little peanut. There is nothing "extra"
How can these people allow a innocent animal to possibly suffer because of money? I don't get it. I really don't. I hate life sometimes. I actually was starting to make a effort in life the last few weeks. But this is just another confirmation that every time I take a step forward I am knocked back 4.
Sorry for the rant/novel. Just feeling really alone.

Actually I take that back..... it's not the vets fault that they over charge insanely. It's my fault for not having more money put away. But I just got over not working because of a serious accident and just now going back to work.
It's no one's fault. I'm just upset.

 

[Rachel74]

Other dog Poppy and we had a £4K bill luckily we had pet insurance or we would have had to PTS.
They are our life OP we'd do anything for them xx
If she's not in pain then please wait. I remember a vet saying to me years ago to look into their eyes and I mean really look and you'll see when the time is right. Just treasure the time you have together now

 

[Dreamwithinadream]

I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is the worst thing in the world. My dog died 4 years ago and I'm still not over it. I really hope she doesn't suffer.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I am so so so sorry... Just saw your min pin in that animal post I made the other day! My god. I want to give you a hug.

Lost one of my cats a few years ago and we had a connection like nothing else. I tried to ctb after that and failed. I just wanted to be with him.

This is horrible and unfair! I'm here if you ever need... x

 

[Deleted member 1465]

A dog will usually let you know when the time is right. They often go away to be on their own and lie down or crawl in an odd manner. It's your call and it's a tough one. Maybe a little more time but soon you'll have to make the decision that's best for your friend.