So it's me again, the dumbass. Just here to say that I can't talk to anyone about my issues except the counselor I visit somewhat regularly. My parents make me feel like shit and don't know how to respond to negative emotions I exude. I don't have friends and I don't want them and I can't hold on to them anyway. If I discuss my problems with them they'll just run away. So that kinda leaves me with suicide. Not a fan of it but I feel trapped and I want out.
Kyrok
Paragon
- Nov 6, 2018
- 970
I understand. I don't have anyone who can listen to my issues. They usually say I'm blowing things out of proportion, or something of the sort. But they don't know how I'm drowning in bullshit.
You can talk to people here.
You can talk to people here.
I don't think many people do, in fairness to your parents. That's what makes a good counsellor so valuable.
My partner makes me feel worse if I talk about how I feel. They shut down the conversation. They only want to hear 'good' things so I have decided NOT to talk to them about my 'bad' thoughts and emotions. I may even end our relationship over it because it's not a supportive one for me. I think I'd rather be alone since I am pretty much alone anyway - alone inside the relationship.
When I said I was thinking of ctb, they said "I know you wont do it because you are too sensible".... and that was the end of the conversation in their eyes. I felt they'd closed a door on me. I felt dismissed, not taken seriously.
Sometimes I feel that to talk to them about my thoughts, I have to try and prepare them for what's coming, to soften the ground. I feel I have to say things in a way that won't upset them or make them angry. I have my 'negative' thoughts and emotions often. They are tiring, very tiring. So I usually don't have the strength to talk to my partner AND take into account their sensitivities at the same time. It seems back to front to me; it's me that's struggling and I have to take account of their issues when I talk to them - and I'm usually too tired to be able to, or want to, do that. So I keep it to myself because, at least that way, I don't have to deal with the hurt of being dismissed as well.
GeorgeJL
Enlightened
- Mar 7, 2019
- 1,621
I use to feel very trapped too, do you know how I got out of it? I researched and researched and researched and learned about myself, my mind, and the world. I wanted to know the truths of the universe. I wanted to know what I am. I wanted to know how the brain and mind functions and how I can overcome in life. I wanted to know what are the most important things in life. How to make meaning in life for myself. And that is what I did, and now I feel much better these days. And trust me I've been through hell and back too. I've only told you the tip of the iceberg of the hell I've went through in life. And now I'm doing much better.
So you have two main choices.
1. You can confront the ignorance of your mind and learn about yourself the world and even face your inner demons (figuratively).
or
2. Kill yourself.
I'm pro-choice when it comes to suicide. So I am not saying one options is necessarily better than the other. Obviously I would prefer that you chose the number one, because not everyone can choose number 2, otherwise nobody would be here in the first place. Now you can choose number 2. But if you do choose number two you might reincarnate to relearn your lessons over again. But if you choose number 2 you should take your life in a dignified manner, and you should preferably be of good conscious. Now I can help you with whatever you choose. I can help you get better mentally and confront your demons, or I can advise you on how to kill yourself peacefully. Isn't that level of freedom scary yet beautiful at the same time?
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Mr. Hang Man
Just hanging around
- Mar 11, 2019
- 69
Yeah I know this feeling, they always provide mainstream advice and are generally quite apathetic to my issues choosing to criticize and mock rather then be a friend and maybe try to understand. But... y'know what can you expect from them, they don't really know your life and can only give you advice that helped them through something similar if they've gone through tough times themselves. I already lost all my friends so I'm basing this through memory when I did have friends.
Quinlor
The stranger
- Feb 21, 2019
- 1,058
I understand you. Parents neither your therapist will see the things as you see. The therapist is like a robot: you need take medicines, more social relational, stop suicide thoughts, etc. Parents never will understand you because probably they have their own mental problems too (neuroses, anxiety).
So I think like GeorgeJL you need research and find you by your self. To be here in this site it's a beginning, you can compare your situation with the others and see the problem without preconception. Of course most of us here don't have or be in a good mental state (include me and apparently you), but here we are free to express ourselves.
Xaphous
hikikomori
- Nov 11, 2018
- 550
I relate. My brain doesn't calculate how to 'get' people in my life for my own needs and for theirs. So many fake and bad people I wonder if it's best being alone anyway and enduring intense suffering forever.
Eeyore
Member
- Aug 4, 2018
- 94
Yea I get it... I don't talk to people much anymore about my problems because it leads to nowhere. When you do that you are expecting an answer or advice from someone who is not in your situation and that rarely works. I left most of my friends and soon I will end up alone. A part of me is ok with that and a part of me is very sad about that.
