F
foxdie
Got my ticket
- Aug 18, 2020
- 1,011
I just can't. Everything in my life is so fucked right now. I've pushed everyone in my life away on purpose so I could ctb. I've been so successful in this yet I've never been more lonely. But I wanted this. I don't want anyone to invest anything in me because it's a waste of time, I just want to die. Why should they either? I've done nothing for anyone for months, I don't even deserve it.
I literally just had a dream where the lightbulb in my bathroom died and I had no replacement. I woke up and just started balling. It's seems so small but it's like the straw that broke that camel's back. It didn't even happen! What the fuck is wrong with me! I can't stop crying now because of this. It's so stupid.
I don't want to go on but I can't kill myself. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do anymore and things just keep getting worse for me. It's just so hard right now. My savings are almost gone and I won't be able to support myself soon. I have no intention of living but I can't die. I just can't do this anymore. I'm so done but I'm too weak to just end it. I should have never been born. Fuck I'm so pathetic. What a stupid thing to break me, a fucking dream about something so innocuous. Sorry, this is such a waste of time. Holy hell I'm a mess.
And the world is such a cruel and stupid place. There's so much unjust pain on this forum, it's so unfair. ecmnesia's goodbye thread really caught me off guard. I'm such an idiot, I don't know what I expected being on a suicide forum but it was a gut punch. And here I am broken from a stupid dream. She deserved so much better. Everyone on here deserves so much better. I hate the world so much. Oh wow, I just can't anymore. I want to die so bad.
If you made it to the end of this nonsense thanks for reading but I can't be helped. I'm just venting my bullshit. Like absurd levels of bullshit. A fucking lightbulb...
I literally just had a dream where the lightbulb in my bathroom died and I had no replacement. I woke up and just started balling. It's seems so small but it's like the straw that broke that camel's back. It didn't even happen! What the fuck is wrong with me! I can't stop crying now because of this. It's so stupid.
I don't want to go on but I can't kill myself. I feel so trapped. I don't know what to do anymore and things just keep getting worse for me. It's just so hard right now. My savings are almost gone and I won't be able to support myself soon. I have no intention of living but I can't die. I just can't do this anymore. I'm so done but I'm too weak to just end it. I should have never been born. Fuck I'm so pathetic. What a stupid thing to break me, a fucking dream about something so innocuous. Sorry, this is such a waste of time. Holy hell I'm a mess.
And the world is such a cruel and stupid place. There's so much unjust pain on this forum, it's so unfair. ecmnesia's goodbye thread really caught me off guard. I'm such an idiot, I don't know what I expected being on a suicide forum but it was a gut punch. And here I am broken from a stupid dream. She deserved so much better. Everyone on here deserves so much better. I hate the world so much. Oh wow, I just can't anymore. I want to die so bad.
If you made it to the end of this nonsense thanks for reading but I can't be helped. I'm just venting my bullshit. Like absurd levels of bullshit. A fucking lightbulb...