I can't stop thinking about catching the bus! Why is life so difficult? I'm trying my best to lice but I'm losing my will to live each day !!!

[Waiting for death]

There are thee things that keep me alive, even though I reach all these goals I will ctb either way. Depression and anxiety is eating myself away each day. I don't want to bother anyone about my mental health problems. I look normal from the outside !!! But inside there are lot of demons that it's being difficult to deal with. At night, it's dangerous !!! There's the time when I feel tempted to ctb. I have 1kg SN and sometimes I think about drinking at least 100g and then hang myself partially! It's difficult and right now, I'm thinking about it .

 

[dontwakemeup]

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. I think having the SN in your home maybe increasing you SI. I suffer from the same, I understand everyday is hard and Challenging for us. I don't think a lot of people understand anxiety. I look normal during my attacks too. Are you on any medication to help your anxiety and depression? If not, I think it would be a good idea to call your doctor tomorrow.

Maybe try putting on a good movie do you fan focus on that. I hope your night gets better.

 

[Waiting for death]

I can't afford a therapist !!! But I try my best to stay alive but it seems really difficult. If I don't reach my personal goals, there's no way to be here anymore.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. I think having the SN in your home maybe increasing you SI. I suffer from the same, I understand everyday is hard and Challenging for us. I don't think a lot of people understand anxiety. I look normal during my attacks too. Are you on any medication to help your anxiety and depression? If not, I think it would be a good idea to call your doctor tomorrow.

Maybe try putting on a good movie do you fan focus on that. I hope your night gets better.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I can't afford a therapist !!! But I try my best to stay alive but it seems really difficult. If I don't reach my personal goals, there's no way to be here anymore.

I can't afford a therapist either. Do you see a primary doctor? If so, they can prescribe you something. You can do anything you say you can do! It might not be easy, but you can do anything I'll be so happy when my bus comes!!

 

[Waiting for death]

I can't afford a therapist either. Do you see a primary doctor? If so, they can prescribe you something. You can do anything you say you can do! It might not be easy, but you can do anything I'll be so happy when my bus comes!!

To honest I've never seen any doctor. I'm trying to my best to move forward, make progress and reach my goals maybe I can live a little longer if I reach them. I'm 27 now if I live another seven years I will be great. It seems lived an eternity, I should be honest and say that my age limit is less than 35. I'm really tired of this freak game calle life! Anyway, I really appreciate you .

 

[IsolatedChaos]

To honest I've never seen any doctor. I'm trying to my best to move forward, make progress and reach my goals maybe I can live a little longer if I reach them. I'm 27 now if I live another seven years I will be great. It seems lived an eternity, I should be honest and say that my age limit is less than 35. I'm really tired of this freak game calle life! Anyway, I really appreciate you .

Even though it's expensive, if you can somehow find a way, seeing a doctor about it is a thing you should 100% try before doing it. A last resort you shouldn't miss out on to be truly certain, especially if you still have some part in you that wants to do things in this life.
I understand it's easier said than done, but I encourage you to fight for it if you can.

If it's fine by you that I'm sharing; I'm 25, and I'm giving myself 2 more years to see if things get better, right now the expectation is just to get there and ctb. I can't imagine living past that.

 

[Waiting for death]

Even though it's expensive, if you can somehow find a way, seeing a doctor about it is a thing you should 100% try before doing it. A last resort you shouldn't miss out on to be truly certain, especially if you still have some part in you that wants to do things in this life.
I understand it's easier said than done, but I encourage you to fight for it if you can.

If it's fine by you that I'm sharing; I'm 25, and I'm giving myself 2 more years to see if things get better, right now the expectation is just to get there and ctb. I can't imagine living past that.

We can relate to each other by giving another chance.

 

[IsolatedChaos]

We can relate to each other by giving another chance.

Absolutely

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine it must be tiring what you go through, it's cruel to me how there's all this pain and suffering in existing. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do agree with others that you deserve help with what you're going through. It shouldn't really be 'troubling others' if they care about you. Or better still- if it's a professional you talk to- even your doctor, they're paid to listen to your troubles. You won't be the first person that told them you're troubled by negative thoughts, or are having trouble sleeping etc.

I do absolutely believe that we have the right to choose to end it- if that's what we truly want. It does sort of seem like you still have life goals you'd like to achieve though at the moment. To give yourself the best chance of that for now- I do personally think you should reach out for a bit of help. It may not work of course. That's possible but, it might and it might give you better chances of succeeding in your endevours. Good luck- whatever you decide to do.