I'm new here. I'm 18 and I can't find motivation. I got borderline desorder, and when i feel "good" i fall again and I want to kill myself. I started self-damaging when i was 12 and can't stop doing it. My family try to support me but they can't, I feel that I was born to kill myself and nothing can take that off my mind. Which is the less pain method of ctb? I need help with that.
(sorry for my english
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Hello. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this crap.
I completely get the mood swings(I know yours is extreme). Especially as a kid,I'd go crazy. I used to feel happy,then I'd get really sad or mad and pull my hair out. Parts of my head were mostly bald. It was nonstop extreme mood fluctuations. Now at 21 I have bad anger issues but am more in tune with stuff. I still do have times where I feel happier then I fall down and think I can't go one more day without ending it.
Many people Prefer to use N(Nembutal or pentobarbital),which is supposed to be very painless. But it is very hard to obtain. Most people on this website seem to go for SN(sodium nitrite..NOT nitrate). Partial and full suspension hanging are popular too. I'd look at the megathreads on this website for further info.
I am here if you need to talk at all. No judgement. Just talk.
I wish you well in the meantime.
