Venting I can’t stop dreaming about my ex, and it’s like torture

[ThatStateOfMind]

For me, personally, I'm plagued by dreams of my ex. I woke up this morning from a dream where we were together again, and of course, was upset when I woke up. The fact that I even have these dreams torments me.

I can't get rid of them, I wouldn't even know where to begin, if it's even possible. I hate the dreams though, and the constant torment of these dreams makes me hate sleeping.

They're not all good either, she's in almost all of them but some are good and others are bad. In one, she was absolutely horrible, in another we were completely happy and back together again.

All I know is I hate this, and I just want to break down and cry. I wish this would end.

I know it probably doesn't help that I'm still in contact with her. She told me not to message her today because she's at the libraries with her boyfriend today, and I didn't immediately remember the dream when I woke up but the text when I woke up jogged my memory.

 

[StillBreathing]

I experience the same thing where I will go for months without even thinking about her. Then suddenly she shows up in my dream. This always happens with the exes that I can honestly say I loved with all my heart.

I think you will be better off cutting contact unless there is something you still share (kids for example). The dreams will probably become less frequently, at least that what happened in my case. It will still ruin my day though and my mental state will be pretty bad for a while after. It really sucks having memories you would rather delete because they hurt too much.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be painful what you have to endure, life really is so unnecessarily cruel and it's awful how not everyone can find some sort of relief through sleep. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I experience the same thing where I will go for months without even thinking about her. Then suddenly she shows up in my dream. This always happens with the exes that I can honestly say I loved with all my heart.

I think you will be better off cutting contact unless there is something you still share (kids for example). The dreams will probably become less frequently, at least that what happened in my case. It will still ruin my day though and my mental state will be pretty bad for a while after. It really sucks having memories you would rather delete because they hurt too much.

Yeah, our breakup is still fairly fresh, it was a little over 4 months ago, I used to think about her all the time. Now I don't think about her all the time, I only dream about her frequently.

I try to keep a mindset of "this too shall pass" but it's difficult. I really don't want to cut contact because I feel like that will hurt more, I have been intentionally limiting contact so I hurt myself less.

The dreams don't ruin my day but they ruin my morning, for sure.

It must be painful what you have to endure, life really is so unnecessarily cruel and it's awful how not everyone can find some sort of relief through sleep. But anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you!

 

[SexyIncél]

Your unconscious is grinding away. That's one benefit of a new gf, giving it something else to think about

She might even be a metaphor, personifying completely different things.

Also, if your unconscious thinks you're not doing what you truly need/desire/want to do in life, it might punish you this way. When it surmises you're not doing it. This might not even be wise, like how pain can stop you from fixing the source of the pain

Maybe it just wants someone to hold at night

 

[ever so lonely]

i still think of mine op, my initial love, almost 20 years on from our final split, i have had plenty of casual hook ups/flings and relationships since but she was my real flame, do you ever move on from real intense love and longing ?, i am not so sure , if you love intensely as i do i know people often can take advantage, i wish you healing and love op, moving on is never as easy as they make it seem, maybe we never can completely forget our true loves, maybe the best that can be achieved is an acceptance that it is long over and perhaps with it a sense of healing, i wish you peace and blessings it isnt easy, it kind of feels like another bereavement doesnt it ?, the person may aswell be dead to us i guess, yet at some point were our everything, like i say i wish you well, maybe you can find somebody new in future, sure it wont be THAT person, but maybe just as good for you, who knows what the future holds, stay safe op

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Your unconscious is grinding away. That's one benefit of a new gf, giving it something else to think about

She might even be a metaphor, personifying completely different things.

Also, if your unconscious thinks you're not doing what you truly need/desire/want to do in life, it might punish you this way. When it surmises you're not doing it. This might not even be wise, like how pain can stop you from fixing the source of the pain

Maybe it just wants someone to hold at night

Yeah, that's an interesting thought. As I go into college, I think of all the interesting people I'll meet, love interests aren't on my mind as much as just friends.

I don't quite know, but I do think this is linked to my subconscious. I might not be consciously thinking about her, but maybe subconsciously, she still weighs heavily upon my mind and heart.

i still think of mine op, my initial love, almost 20 years on from our final split, i have had plenty of casual hook ups/flings and relationships since but she was my real flame, do you ever move on from real intense love and longing ?, i am not so sure , if you love intensely as i do i know people often can take advantage, i wish you healing and love op, moving on is never as easy as they make it seem, maybe we never can completely forget our true loves, maybe the best that can be achieved is an acceptance that it is long over and perhaps with it a sense of healing, i wish you peace and blessings it isnt easy, it kind of feels like another bereavement doesnt it ?, the person may aswell be dead to us i guess, yet at some point were our everything, like i say i wish you well, maybe you can find somebody new in future, sure it wont be THAT person, but maybe just as good for you, who knows what the future holds, stay safe op

I do love her and I loved her hard. Moving on certainly isn't easy, it's not the hardest thing I've gone through but it's up there, and it's a different kind of hurt that I've never felt before.

I've often compared it to a bereavement, but it feels different, hurts more. I hope I find someone new, as I'm trying to come to terms that we'll probably never be together again. I do wish to be friends with her.