Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: ReversedNthTerm, Fl4u, qwerty1969 and 12 others
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
It's usually that they've had problems before, and those "silly reasons" are the little things that brought them to the edge.

I mean, yeah, I get how it can be frustrating.. Because it plays into that stereotype of "suicidal people don't want to solve their small problems" or something like that.. But that's all we see. We don't really know what's going on.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Informative
Reactions: mongoose23, Nohw, eternalvoid and 47 others
Venus13

Venus13

Experienced
Oct 2, 2022
233
It's never about the event, it's about the undercurrent. It's usually the last straw.

Shit I might kill myself one morning cause the hot water heater breaks or I run out of coffee to get through the day. The last straw is usually small. I think a break up, failed exam, or loss of a small joy are big ones.
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Informative
Reactions: Nohw, ranaway, eternalvoid and 29 others
Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
It's usually that they've had problems before, and those "silly reasons" are the little things that brought them to the edge.

I mean, yeah, I get how it can be frustrating.. Because it plays into that stereotype of "suicidal people don't want to solve their small problems" or something like that.. But that's all we see. We don't really know what's going on.
That's very true actually. I bet when I'll ctb everyone will just mark it off as depression. Partially trur when you have a brain disease that destroyed/destroys your whole life. Yeah but people don't see that. Just another desperate "teen" for them
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Flaw Detector, dumbash, SFB123 and 4 others
that_guy2611

that_guy2611

Student
Mar 17, 2018
187
I can't stand when people can't stand when other people ctb for really minor stupid reasons
 
  • Like
  • Love
  • Yay!
Reactions: ReversedNthTerm, bunnii, angelcircuit and 32 others
L

Lostandlooking

In limbo
Jul 23, 2020
447
Better not judge or jump to conclusions imo. Something minor or stupid to you might not be minor or stupid to someone else. I don't think it's beneficial to anyone to scrutinize someone's reasons for suicide as somehow 'good enough' or 'not good enough'.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Love
Reactions: singsreignrebuilder, dumbash, dead lightbulb and 22 others
Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
It's never about the event, it's about the undercurrent. It's usually the last straw.

Shit I might kill myself one morning cause the hot water heater breaks or I run out of coffee to get through the day. The last straw is usually small. I think a break up, failed exam, or loss of a small joy are big ones.
I envy you. Your SI must be almost not there if you would kill yourself cuz of no coffee haha
I can't stand when people can't stand when other people ctb for really minor stupid reasons
It just don't make much sense to me u know
 
  • Like
  • Yay!
Reactions: SadVegan, HelloIMustBeGoing and Venus13
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.
a break up can hit pretty hard (although most get over it) and parents can put a lot of pressure on kids so failing that exam does mean something, but yeah ive got nothing for the minecraft server one without there already being a preexisting thing like bpd.
maybe minor stupid isnt quite the right words, but without any background reason (like the parents putting pressure on the kids) it is an impulsive attempt that should have been stopped, theres a high chance the people are going to regret it, thats why its called impulsive, it wasnt thought through. these are the reasons that make it difficult for the rest of us to get medical assistance in dying difficult/impossible. because people dont actually stop and think whether their reason is "valid" or something that will pass and the people on the outside arent you so they dont know, it forces them to play it safe and just not allow it to anyone. it would be nice if for themselves and others, they actually tried the "waiting and seeing" trick or something.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: ryo the frog, Shinobi, SadVegan and 3 others
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Pretty sure when I ctb people will just fob it off as "Oh they were just mentally ill.", especially given most of those people will be my abusive family and despite my going to professionals and them all saying there's nothing wrong with me, and my family is toxic. Then my family will throw a huge pity party and make it about themselves and their "hardships" in their own perfect, extremely sheltered lives.

As others have said before me, don't judge others too harshly for their reasons. We only see what is on the surface, a lot of people don't or can't talk about everything that has happened to them.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: HybridSpectre, ryo the frog, demuic and 9 others
Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
a break up can hit pretty hard (although most get over it) and parents can put a lot of pressure on kids so failing that exam does mean something, but yeah ive got nothing for the minecraft server one without there already being a preexisting thing like bpd.
maybe minor stupid isnt quite the right words, but without any background reason (like the parents putting pressure on the kids) it is an impulsive attempt that should have been stopped, theres a high chance the people are going to regret it, thats why its called impulsive, it wasnt thought through. these are the reasons that make it difficult for the rest of us to get medical assistance in dying difficult/impossible. because people dont actually stop and thing whether their reason is "valid" or something that will pass and the people on the outside arent you so they dont know, it forces them to play it safe and just not allow it to anyone. it would be nice if for themselves and others, they actually tried the "waiting and seeing" trick or something.
I had some impulsive attempts which weren't thought trough at all every single one just fucked me even up more...
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: jodes2 and Life_and_Death
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
8,869
Maybe they just got sick and tired of hearing that their problems weren't 'big' enough to worry about.

I do totally understand that when things are horrific in someone's life, it must be frustrating to see other people struggle with the tiniest setback but we never really know what's bubbling under the surface. We all struggle with different things and we all have varying capacity to deal with all the shit life throws at us.

What's more- none of us signed up for this life in the first place and there's not much reward in struggling on through- asides from not hurting those around us by bowing out early.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: brokensea, ryo the frog, KuriGohan&Kamehameha and 6 others
I

imtiredandready

Member
Oct 14, 2022
9
Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating
Get off your high horse bud. You don't know those peoples thoughts. Pain affects everyone differently.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mare Imbrium, moonlightwhisper, Shinobi and 6 others
F

FuneralGrey

Member
Oct 12, 2022
85
Like others have said, there are often other things going on that we don't see. I can't comment on the Minecraft thing, but there are lots of reasons that a failed exam or a breakup can actually weigh really heavily on someone... pressure from parents, pressure from yourself, a sudden change in the plans you had envisioned for your future.

The thing is, once you start to spiral, you can get pretty bad tunnel vision, to the point where you're entirely convinced your whole word is collapsing in on itself and there's no way out. Whatever tiny butterfly wing flap set it off, you're now in a hurricane. In one study, 71% of people who had had a "serious" attempt decided less than one hour before that they were going to do it. Largely, the people on this forum are the exception, not the rule. Most suicide prevention resources are aimed at those people who can be stopped by helping them have a little perspective beyond their tunnel.

There's also a phenomenom called "parasuicide," where someone doesn't actually want to die but underestimates the lethality of what they're doing. Can't say how much that is a factor, too, in the examples you mention, but it happens.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dumbash, StrangeAndDeath, Gustav Hartmann and 4 others
I

iltloml

Member
Aug 25, 2022
81
You have no idea what's going on peoples life. I'm going to end mine because of a break up to. I'm not exactly a spring chicken and there is so much to it that you have no idea. There is a lot behind the curtains that even my family and friends don't know of. If somebody came to the point where they are actually going to do it something had to drive them to that. Something much more that's on the surface.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dumbash, Rogue Proxy, Ashu and 4 others
evolutionerror

evolutionerror

Corrupted DNA
Sep 5, 2022
46
Whatever reasons people have its personal to themselves and no one else's business. There is no "real" or "right" reasons to CTB. You don't need to cross some threshold of problem magnitude before you are free to choose death. You don't need to have any problems at all, and people CTB all the time simply because they are tired of living / lost the will to live.

Why would you get upset over why someone else choose's to end their life?
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: moonlightwhisper, shiko23, Rogue Proxy and 7 others
Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
If someone wants to ctb over a Minecraft server getting griefed, then that likely means that server was an escape for them. They are probably going through some really traumatizing circumstances and wanted to find a place to get away from it all. To have the same behavior replicated in what is supposed to be an escape can definitely have an effect on someone. And I could empathize even more if this server was supposed to be private amongst a few friends and some random douche came across it and ruined everything.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Rogue Proxy, Ashu, Girl-shaped Wound and 3 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,206
It's annoying when people want to gatekeep suicide. I cannot stand anything pro life. After all, if someone wants to ctb then that is their personal decision and nobody has to justify why they want to leave. It's nothing to do with anyone else and It isn't as though any of us have any obligations to stay here as we never asked to exist in the first place.

Why should anyone have to stay alive just because they don't meet a certain criteria of suffering and why should suicide even need a reason in the first place. The truth is that there is no real benefit to staying alive apart from if that is what the person wants. All that life is, is just waiting around to die anyway and staying alive is only delaying the inevitable, so therefore to leave this world at a time of our own choosing could never be wrong. There is also the point of view that suicide is a more rational choice over living as to die solves all problems and if someone stays alive they are capable of experiencing the worst pain possible as after all, everything is unpredictable. This is another reason as to why suicide should be respected as a personal decision as nobody can deny all of the cruelty in this world. Maybe some people want to leave now to escape a worse future.

But it's insulting suggesting that there are stupid reasons for ctb. You don't know what others went through, I mean nobody can know apart from the person themselves. What would give any of us the right to judge someone else for ctb. After all as humans we all have different limits as to what we can cope with. Suffering is not a competition and someone doesn't even have to suffer at all in the first place for their decision of ctb to be valid.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Grayfield, tary, StrangeAndDeath and 14 others
Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
Whatever reasons people have its personal to themselves and no one else's business. There is no "real" or "right" reasons to CTB. You don't need to cross some threshold of problem magnitude before you are free to choose death. You don't need to have any problems at all, and people CTB all the time simply because they are tired of living / lost the will to live.

Why would you get upset over why someone else choose's to end their life?
Idk it's just that I actually want to live but have a disease which makes it nearly impossible to live life and enjoy it and completely destroyed mine and there really isn't much of a solution for it then maybe it getting better in x so many years hard work and effort while suffering. It just seems weird to me atleast from my perspective that there are people ctb for reasons where there might be a simpler solution. Maybe I'm just taking all of this to personal
If someone wants to ctb over a Minecraft server getting griefed, then that likely means that server was an escape for them. They are probably going through some really traumatizing circumstances and wanted to find a place to get away from it all. To have the same behavior replicated in what is supposed to be an escape can definitely have an effect on someone. And I could empathize even more if this server was supposed to be private amongst a few friends and some random douche came across it and ruined everything.
That's a very good argument actually. Although a server backup could have avoided that xD
It's annoying when people want to gatekeep suicide. I cannot stand anything pro life. After all, if someone wants to ctb then that is their personal decision and nobody has to justify why they want to leave. It's nothing to do with anyone else and It isn't as though any of us have any obligations to stay here as we never asked to exist in the first place.

Why should anyone have to stay alive just because they don't meet a certain criteria of suffering and why should suicide even need a reason in the first place. The truth is that there is no real benefit to staying alive apart from if that is what the person wants. All that life is, is just waiting around to die anyway and staying alive is only delaying the inevitable, so therefore to leave this world at a time of our own choosing could never be wrong. There is also the point of view that suicide is a more rational choice over living as to die solves all problems and if someone stays alive they are capable of experiencing the worst pain possible as after all, everything is unpredictable. This is another reason as to why suicide should be respected as a personal decision as nobody can deny all of the cruelty in this world. Maybe some people want to leave now to escape a worse future.

But it's insulting suggesting that there are stupid reasons for ctb. You don't know what others went through, I mean nobody can know apart from the person themselves. What would give any of us the right to judge someone else for ctb. After all as humans we all have different limits as to what we can cope with. Suffering is not a competition and someone doesn't even have to suffer at all in the first place for their decision of ctb to be valid.
Ok guys you changed my mind guess I was taking all of that to personal my own pain blinded me I guess. I sincerely apologize definetly learned something.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Shivali, NoLightRemains, Rogue Proxy and 4 others
A

AliceTheGoon

Specialist
Jul 1, 2022
388
Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating
I agree, besides the info on methods and reliability the biggest takeaway from this site for me is humility. I'm in the same boat as you and others as far as illness but what distinguishes here is once you've exhausted the site's resources, do you ctb or not. Plenty have, I haven't.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ashu, jodes2 and Lonerzepam
HermitLonerGuy

HermitLonerGuy

Warlock
Sep 28, 2022
708
What may be manageable to you may not be for someone else, someone may even call your reason for ctb silly.
dont be so judgemental especailly as one of a sucidal person yourself.
theres never a stupid reason if someone feels they cant cope with their life circumstances its all valid.
they wont even need a reason, its their life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ashu, Lostandlooking, jodes2 and 1 other person
I

imtiredandready

Member
Oct 14, 2022
9
Like cuz of a breakup, a failed exam or when their minecraft server got griefed.

I know that doesn't change the fact these people killed em selves.

But as someone with "real" reasons it just pisses me off really.

Honestly I do also have a little bit respect for those people to pull that off for really silly reasons and I am still here contemplating
People with thoughts like yours are the reason why others do it. Other peoples problems may not make sense to you, but dismissing them as "non-issues" makes the individual feel like their thoughts and feelings don't matter. Hence the suicide. That relationship, possibility of a degree/better life, or the escape from their horrible existence on earth into a video game may be the only thing keeping them around.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Grayfield, demuic, HermitLonerGuy and 2 others
Lonerzepam

Lonerzepam

O'lord! I Have My Doubts
Sep 2, 2022
620
People with thoughts like yours are the reason why others do it. Other peoples problems may not make sense to you, but dismissing them as "non-issues" makes the individual feel like their thoughts and feelings don't matter. Hence the suicide. That relationship, possibility of a degree/better life, or the escape from their horrible existence on earth into a video game may be the only thing keeping them around.
Ok I got it guys. My mistake. You enlightend me. Can we just close this topic now please. Not much more to say...
 
  • Yay!
  • Like
Reactions: GasMonkey and Ashu
S

SamTam33

Warlock
Oct 9, 2022
764
People sometimes create life for absolutely no reason at all. I think it's ok not to have a reason to die.

Another way to look at it that I don't believe has been mentioned is that if the relatively "small" issues cause them that much distress, they won't be equipped to deal with the larger issues.

That's how I'm starting to look at my own situation in retrospect.

I first tried suicide when I was 7. Then again at 12. At ages 19 and 21.

I can't even remember the reason for my first attempt. Surely nothing of significance. But the feelings that accompanied that trigger never went away.

So even though those particular issues passed, new issues popped up in their place. And they only get worse as you get older.

Get out when you can. No matter the reason.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Grayfield, StrangeAndDeath, demuic and 5 others
Himalayan

Himalayan

"Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned"
Sep 30, 2022
422
How's a failed exam a stupid reason?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fin
Doom

Doom

Student
Nov 21, 2022
108
There are no regrets or losses in death, so it is irrational to claim that suicide is a stupid or wrong choice.
Quite the contrary - if suffering exist fundamentally for no reason at all, theres no reason to not end it permanently.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Superdeterminist and BornToFail
BornToFail

BornToFail

Experienced
Sep 9, 2022
285
Oh, I don't know. Gatekeeping ctb reasons, doesn't seem helpful. To each his own, however.
 
P

p24601

Member
Nov 30, 2022
18
I don't think I can agree with this one, I mean no disrespect but I think it would be more a case of "The straw that broke the camel's back".

We don't know what the is going through the minds of those who cba or what other problems they have in their lives, all we can do is offer support and a sympathetic ear.
 
KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,682
As others have said, we don't know what underlying issues a person grapples with in their day to day life, issues which can certainly push a person to the edge once the straw has broken the camel's back.

It is sad and difficult for those left behind, when someone ends their life over what outsiders would see as a surmountable and temporary problem. However, we can never truly know what's going on in another person's mind that would lead them towards that final decision.

We can't playback and experience another person's life as if were a movie, then piece together all of the negative events that lead to such a painful climax. All we can do is theorise and make conclusions based on subjective observations of behaviour displayed in social interactions.

The tragedy in these situations lies in the grief that others must face, the agonising over lost potential or false belief that if only they'd done Xyz, the other party would still be alive. Especially if it appears that one has taken their own life over what seems to be a molehole in the eyes of others, as opposed to a mountain. The perception of pain is highly subjective, and one's molehill could certainly be another's mountain.

However, the person who is gone can't regret anything, they can't introspect over whether their reasoning for suicide was "miniscule" or not, they can't wish they'd taken another course of action, because they're dead. The questioning over what is and isn't a stupid reason is of no relevance to those who have passed on, because we can't change anything about their fate, or wind back the hands of time and prevent it from occurring.

Debating the validity of someone's reasoning is for the living. Once we are no longer of this world, we physically can't concern ourselves with whether our reasoning was valid or not. So I don't think there's any point in putting the deceased's reasoning for ctb under scrutiny, unless it brings another person closure to understand why they did it.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: demuic and Dead Meat
L

lonewolf22

Member
Jul 3, 2020
61
It's usually that they've had problems before, and those "silly reasons" are the little things that brought them to the edge.

I mean, yeah, I get how it can be frustrating.. Because it plays into that stereotype of "suicidal people don't want to solve their small problems" or something like that.. But that's all we see. We don't really know what's going on.
Well put but I think OP might be referring to an impulsive suicide where a single event is the thing that pushes one to the edge.
 

Similar threads