kosameAmagai
Member
- Apr 25, 2022
- 28
so to put into context im 22M and i have been struggling with suicidal thoughts since i was a teenager, it has gotten much worse in the past 4 years to the point were i would do nothing but sleep all day, i havent talked to anyone irl in like 5-6 years, i dont have a job or anything and im completely dependent on my parents, i ve went to therapy multiple times, hopped between many meds and not a single one ever worked, i always go back to this horrible state in which i cant find pleasure/meaning on anything.
i know im a complete loser and a burden to my parents for not helping with anything and just giving more expenses and disappointment to them, the thing is they really do care about me and have been trying to help me as much as they could, BUT I JUST CANT im completely helpless and no matter how much i try to find meaning and joy in life i just end up in the same place that i was before, contemplating suicide everyday, they are basically the only thing stopping me from doing it since i cant even imagine how bad they would feel after losing someone that they love so much and have been trying to help, i really dont know what to do in this situation i dont want to be selfish but every single day as i age it gets worse i see no reason in living and i dont have anyone besides my mom and my dad i just want to convince them that if i ctb it is for the best for both of us but i really dont know how, what would you do in my situation? i dont think i can tolerate it for much longer but at the same time thinking how much pain this would cause on the only people that are there for me(even though im 100% a burden on them) makes me feel sick. how can i approach them about it without hurting themz i just want to disappear from earth like i was never there to begin with ...
i know im a complete loser and a burden to my parents for not helping with anything and just giving more expenses and disappointment to them, the thing is they really do care about me and have been trying to help me as much as they could, BUT I JUST CANT im completely helpless and no matter how much i try to find meaning and joy in life i just end up in the same place that i was before, contemplating suicide everyday, they are basically the only thing stopping me from doing it since i cant even imagine how bad they would feel after losing someone that they love so much and have been trying to help, i really dont know what to do in this situation i dont want to be selfish but every single day as i age it gets worse i see no reason in living and i dont have anyone besides my mom and my dad i just want to convince them that if i ctb it is for the best for both of us but i really dont know how, what would you do in my situation? i dont think i can tolerate it for much longer but at the same time thinking how much pain this would cause on the only people that are there for me(even though im 100% a burden on them) makes me feel sick. how can i approach them about it without hurting themz i just want to disappear from earth like i was never there to begin with ...