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Alexandra0

Alexandra0

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
343
My gender dysphoria appeared in childhood 😭💔
It is so terrible to be in a body that you hate, despise, I can't look at myself in the mirror, and I can't do anything about it, I want to free myself from my hateful shell.
Sometimes when I walk down the street or look from the balcony and see handsome guys, tears flow from my eyes. I literally can't take my eyes off them. Especially those who are handsome, young and healthy. I envy the body they live in. Sometimes, when I walk behind a guy, I stare at him from head to toe.
I know that there are many like me and I feel so sorry for all of us. It's unfair when things like this happen.
My parents said that they might give me money for a sex change in Thailand, but it won't save me. After all, I want to die first of all because of a physical illness that brings me great suffering. And I live in a homophobic country, no one would change my documents. I am not a transsexual, it is simply impossible here. Unfortunately, I look very feminine.
I want to wish people who suffer from the same affliction - strength, luck and fulfillment of desires. And for myself, I only want to wish that my bus arrives as soon as possible
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout, Forever Sleep, EvisceratedJester and 17 others
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,570
I've always wondered about this quite a bit. It's our minds that determine our gender, not our bodies so it must be immensely difficult being stuck in the wrong body. I'm sure it's a hell that I cannot even imagine. I'm so sorry.😞

I know you have multiple troubles apart from this. I hope you can find peace somehow.
 
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Alexandra0

Alexandra0

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
343
I've always wondered about this quite a bit. It's our minds that determine our gender, not our bodies so it must be immensely difficult being stuck in the wrong body. I'm sure it's a hell that I cannot even imagine. I'm so sorry.😞

I know you have multiple troubles apart from this. I hope you can find peace somehow.
Thank you
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout and Carrot
darksouls

darksouls

Mage
May 10, 2025
581
I am so sorry you have to go through all this
I think the soul has no gender
I was biologically born a woman
but I define myself as genderless
even though I look very feminine
 
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Alexei_Kirillov

Alexei_Kirillov

i must rest here a moment
Mar 9, 2024
1,280
I have often thought that it was a curse to be born female, and that the extremely flawed design of our bodies is evidence that there cannot be a perfect, all-loving, all-knowing God. Unless he just hates us.
 
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Reactions: Alexandra0, gottacheckout, darksouls and 1 other person
lostinthesauce

lostinthesauce

Member
Mar 22, 2025
11
I'm really sorry about that. I'm a transgender man who has been out since my early teens but I'm fortunate enough to live in a good state in the US. I hope one day you can have the space to be yourself, although I know that is hard where you are from. :(

I started out looking very feminine in the beginning of my transition, like you describe. But now, my coworkers (men included) never even guess I am transgender. I wouldn't give up because of that. There's many ways to change how you look to others even without any documents or surgery needed.
 
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Reactions: Alexandra0, gottacheckout and bankai
regretfulsoul

regretfulsoul

Member
Apr 14, 2025
5
My gender dysphoria appeared in childhood 😭💔
It is so terrible to be in a body that you hate, despise, I can't look at myself in the mirror, and I can't do anything about it, I want to free myself from my hateful shell.
Sometimes when I walk down the street or look from the balcony and see handsome guys, tears flow from my eyes. I literally can't take my eyes off them. Especially those who are handsome, young and healthy. I envy the body they live in. Sometimes, when I walk behind a guy, I stare at him from head to toe.
I know that there are many like me and I feel so sorry for all of us. It's unfair when things like this happen.
My parents said that they might give me money for a sex change in Thailand, but it won't save me. After all, I want to die first of all because of a physical illness that brings me great suffering. And I live in a homophobic country, no one would change my documents. I am not a transsexual, it is simply impossible here. Unfortunately, I look very feminine.
I want to wish people who suffer from the same affliction - strength, luck and fulfillment of desires. And for myself, I only want to wish that my bus arrives as soon as possible
i feel you. i have it too but reverse. i'll have a 16.5" bideltoid and a huge ribcage and i'll be 5'9 and a 23" skull, enormous nose and jaw and brow ridge forever. i'll be a man until a die. diy estrogen is a complete placebo. Although maybe it's just bc i starve myself.

No one understands this disease. It's so brutal im so sorry.

especially for me when it was completely preventable. There was once a time when the unbreakable glass wall between my world and theirs didn't exist. And 2 pills a day could have allowed me to just step over. But that time is gone. I'm trapped in this body and I can't escape. ur not the only one ):
 
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Reactions: Alexandra0
Alexandra0

Alexandra0

Don't Fear the Reaper
Sep 30, 2023
343
I'm really sorry about that. I'm a transgender man who has been out since my early teens but I'm fortunate enough to live in a good state in the US. I hope one day you can have the space to be yourself, although I know that is hard where you are from. :(

I started out looking very feminine in the beginning of my transition, like you describe. But now, my coworkers (men included) never even guess I am transgender. I wouldn't give up because of that. There's many ways to change how you look to others even without any documents or surgery needed.
Thank you. It's so good that you were born in the US, I hope you live happily ever after. If I had been born in your country, it would have been much easier for me. Our government has gone completely crazy, now they don't even give drivers licenses to LGBTQ+ people. And I don't even want to talk about what's happening in Chechnya - it's just a nightmare come true. It's good that I live far from that wild region
 
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