Venting I cant stand being awake

[duwangJEff]

From the moment I wake up, to the moment I can finally go back to sleep, there's always this feeling of despair and misery in the back of my head. It's either this sinking feeling in my gut, or this craving to talk to someone who isn't there.

I feel so isolated and alone. I have no gf, never had one irl. I've had some internet girlfriends before, but they're all gone now. I have no way of finding anyone new, since I've been banned off of social media. I get totally ignored on dating apps. My friends and family don't have or know any girls to introduce me to. I never have the chance go get out, since I work 6 days a week. And even when I do, there's no girls around my age, and on top of that, my social anxiety makes it insanely difficult to approach anyone.

I have nothing and no one, and this crushing despair just keeps building up and getting worse. I don't want to CTB. I just want a cute girl to hold me and tell me she loves me. But I can't have that, and I never have, and the pain and longing just won't go away.

I only feel okay when I finally fall asleep

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that loneliness can be painful for so many who exist here, existence really is too cruel but anyway best wishes.