I can't look in the mirror anymore

[VivaldiBR]

It's been about two months now. And every time I glance in the mirror I feel bad. It's awful. I have avoided it for that reason. I can't recognize my face.

 

[Gaybonez]

Did you like your face in the past?

 

[VivaldiBR]

Did you like your face in the past?

Very much. Always liked.

 

[Ghost2211]

What changed?

 

[Kat!]

Did you like your face in the past?

Nice Malcolm X pfp btw.
Sometimes we just gotta stick with what we have :(

 

[greebo6]

I am really sorry you are feeling this way and struggling.

I try to avoid the mirror as much as possible .I hate the ugliness that stares back at me.

 

[sadworld]

I'm sorry you feel like that. Why don't you like it anymore? What changed? You don't have to answer! Hugs

 

[LonelyDude15]

Same

 

[VivaldiBR]

It may sounds shallow but the main reason is because im starting to get bald. But the fact i'm hating myself is another big factor. My self esteem is bellow the ground nowadays dor many reasons, so everything gets worse.

 

[Sherri]

I suffer the same problem, I can't looking in the mirror, not because I have any scars or anything. It's like I dunno who is staring at me. But unfortunately due to my job I have to look sometimes to put some make up. But I try to keep my eyes away from looking forward. Same as seeing myself in a car reflection. I'm sure theres a name for that in the mental health world. When I'm off I cover the mirrors with towels.

 

[Studio84]

It's been about two months now. And every time I glance in the mirror I feel bad. It's awful. I have avoided it for that reason. I can't recognize my face.

I can totally relate to this. I have had long periods where I've taken down every mirror in my house,shaved in the tiniest of tiny mirrors,i put my head down when getting into cars to avoid seeing my reflection in the window.going to a barbers is like the biggest nightmare going. It's fucking mentally and physically draining at times!

 

[VivaldiBR]

I suffer the same problem, I can't looking in the mirror, not because I have any scars or anything. It's like I dunno who is staring at me. But unfortunately due to my job I have to look sometimes to put some make up. But I try to keep my eyes away from looking forward. Same as seeing myself in a car reflection. I'm sure theres a name for that in the mental health world. When I'm off I cover the mirrors with towels.

The same with me. Im gonna try work on this in therapy.

I can totally relate to this. I have had long periods where I've taken down every mirror in my house,shaved in the tiniest of tiny mirrors,i put my head down when getting into cars to avoid seeing my reflection in the window.going to a barbers is like the biggest nightmare going. It's fucking mentally and physically draining at times!

You just describe me.

 

[Studio84]

The same with me. Im gonna try work on this in therapy.

You just describe me.

Man it's the fucking worst thing going... It can totally eat away at your soul and self esteem. I've tried talking about this in therapy. I'm pretty sure they'll just advise you to concentrate on all the qualities that you do like about yourself, it doesn't matter, its the inside that counts etc etc.But the thing is once it's eaten away at you you find all the other good quality's slowly erode as well.I think they'd technically call it Body dysmorphic disorder

 

[Weather]

I was attractive when I was in my teens/20s (not that I knew it at the time, but I can see it when I look back at photos and in how people treated me). But, I gained weight from medications and pregnancies and, quite frankly, have never had it in me to try to lose it. Plus just... aging. Now I hate seeing myself in the mirror, in photos, etc. too... And I think I hate seeing myself because it doesn't match the image of myself I carry. Like Sherri said, I just don't recognize that person. The weird thing, though, no one else really seems to care. My spouse still likes me, my kids aren't embarrassed by me, people still interact with me at social events (pre-covid). I mean, I don't get randomly hit on anymore, but I have a wedding ring and I'm not in my 20s, so I shouldn't be getting randomly hit on.

My point is, it seems to just be me that has a problem with how I look. And I wonder if it couldn't be -- at least a little -- the same for you. Perhaps you aren't attracting people like you used to not because you're physically problematic, but because you lost the confidence you once carried. Say what you will about looks, everyone likes someone that is confident (or can successfully fake it).

 

[Pallf]

I can totally relate to this. I have had long periods where I've taken down every mirror in my house,shaved in the tiniest of tiny mirrors,i put my head down when getting into cars to avoid seeing my reflection in the window.going to a barbers is like the biggest nightmare going. It's fucking mentally and physically draining at times!

I know right? I hate getting my hair done because of the mirror. I just say "I like it" extremely quickly so they'll take away the mirror fast. Ugh I wish we could just skip that part of the whole process.

 

[VivaldiBR]

Man it's the fucking worst thing going... It can totally eat away at your soul and self esteem. I've tried talking about this in therapy. I'm pretty sure they'll just advise you to concentrate on all the qualities that you do like about yourself, it doesn't matter, its the inside that counts etc etc.But the thing is once it's eaten away at you you find all the other good quality's slowly erode as well.I think they'd technically call it Body dysmorphic disorder

I think my face is pretty. But i always loved my hair. All I can do now is try to get some muscles.

I was attractive when I was in my teens/20s (not that I knew it at the time, but I can see it when I look back at photos and in how people treated me). But, I gained weight from medications and pregnancies and, quite frankly, have never had it in me to try to lose it. Plus just... aging. Now I hate seeing myself in the mirror, in photos, etc. too... And I think I hate seeing myself because it doesn't match the image of myself I carry. Like Sherri said, I just don't recognize that person. The weird thing, though, no one else really seems to care. My spouse still likes me, my kids aren't embarrassed by me, people still interact with me at social events (pre-covid). I mean, I don't get randomly hit on anymore, but I have a wedding ring and I'm not in my 20s, so I shouldn't be getting randomly hit on.

My point is, it seems to just be me that has a problem with how I look. And I wonder if it couldn't be -- at least a little -- the same for you. Perhaps you aren't attracting people like you used to not because you're physically problematic, but because you lost the confidence you once carried. Say what you will about looks, everyone likes someone that is confident (or can successfully fake it).

Perhaps. I do not know. All the women I stayed with in the last year until today always looked at my thinner hair. One of them even commented "you're gonna be bald". I always had a very good self esteem, mostly because of the hair. Now its all gone.

 

[Studio84]

I think my face is pretty. But i always loved my hair. All I can do now is try to get some muscles.

Perhaps. I do not know. All the women I stayed with in the last year until today always looked at my thinner hair. One of them even commented "you're gonna be bald". I always had a very good self esteem, mostly because of the hair. Now its all gone.

So is hairloss the main reason you feel the way you do?I think hairloss causes more mental health problems than people think, for both men and women. I think a hell of a lot of men don't like to admit hairloss bothers them because of all the "just shave it bro" or look at the rock and Jason statham they're bald type comments you get thrown back at you.if it's hair loss that's your main concern there are some pretty good concealer type products you can that look pretty decent when used right. If you've still got enough hair but just thinning they can work wonders. I've noticed loads of TV and film stars use them so it's not really anything to feel embarrassed about using

Edit sorry I've only just seen you comment about going bald

I know right? I hate getting my hair done because of the mirror. I just say "I like it" extremely quickly so they'll take away the mirror fast. Ugh I wish we could just skip that part of the whole process.

I know its really fucked up isn't it. Going to the barbers shouldnt be such a traumatic experience. I've been today and I can honestly say I enjoyed no part of it whatsoever. I even leave a tip so I don't have to wait for change to get out of there even quicker.Thats even more fucked up, leaving a tip for being traumatised!

 

[VivaldiBR]

So is hairloss the main reason you feel the way you do?I think hairloss causes more mental health problems than people think, for both men and women. I think a hell of a lot of men don't like to admit hairloss bothers them because of all the "just shave it bro" or look at the rock and Jason statham they're bald type comments you get thrown back at you.if it's hair loss that's your main concern there are some pretty good concealer type products you can that look pretty decent when used right. If you've still got enough hair but just thinning they can work wonders. I've noticed loads of TV and film stars use them so it's not really anything to feel embarrassed about using

Edit sorry I've only just seen you comment about going bald

I know its really fucked up isn't it. Going to the barbers shouldnt be such a traumatic experience. I've been today and I can honestly say I enjoyed no part of it whatsoever. I even leave a tip so I don't have to wait for change to get out of there even quicker.Thats even more fucked up, leaving a tip for being traumatised!

I tried some products. None of them worked.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Relatable. I hate video calls for the same reason. I can't stand looking at myself.

 

[Studio84]

I tried some products. None of them worked.

Sorry to hear that... Did you try the fibres like toppik or nanogen? There is also the drug finasteride/propecia and regaine/rogaine minoxidil. If your a good responder to those you do stand a good chance of some pretty decent regrowth and thickening. The only downside is it can take 3-6 months before noticing its working

 

[CharlieBrown]

It may sounds shallow but the main reason is because im starting to get bald. But the fact i'm hating myself is another big factor. My self esteem is bellow the ground nowadays dor many reasons, so everything gets worse.

I can sympathize with you greatly. I already avoided mirrors and being photographed since I was 18 and had my first breakdown. It wasn't until I had to take photographs a few years ago (in my early 30s) for my sister's wedding that I realized I was balding. I never thought about my hair when I was younger, I'm not and never have been interested in dating, and I've frequented suicide boards for many years, so I wouldn't have thought balding would have been such a big deal to me, but it is and can be all consuming at times. One of my great fears is to run into someone I knew from high school, when I was a good student and thought of someone who would become successful, only for he/she to find out I am a soon to be unemployed, bald college dropout who never left his childhood home.

 

[kappa]

I wanna know why in the mirror I seem okay but if I see a photograph I'm traumatized.

 

[drwt]

Been avoiding mirrors for years. I have dysmorphia and it always made me depressed so I start looking away every time I walked into a room with a mirror. It helps. I've been called handsome many times before but I just can't believe it. Try to ignore what you are unable to control.