i cant live like this i need to die

[nails]

i have anxieity attacks every single night and i just vreak down. ive cyclign between htting my head and cytting for the past hour and im still spiraling, i just feel lightheaded byt nothing is helping. i dont mnow what to do, i took old prescriotion meds because i cant handle this. i cant do this, its too mych and theres nothjng i can do. all of my efforts are compeltlelyl useless. i have no one to reach out to and nothjgn to help cope, theres absolutely nothing. i hate my life so mych. its been aborht a year since everythjng started going very wrong and i cant deal with it, time made things eorse. i need to die, this life is not worth living. i have no one. everybtjng and everyone that meant anythung to me is completely gone and jts just not worth it. my friend/s were the knly thign that i really really cared about and actually made life worth living but everykne left. even aside from that: meds, school, everything that helped me at least function and live somewhat happily was taken away from me.
my hands and my floor is covevrd in blood and my hesd hurts so bad and i jsut feel worse and worse by the secknd. what do i even do in this situation other than impulsively try to kill myself? ehat other options are there? everytbing is uselss.
im compeltlely unloved and no one cares about me at all, no matter wgat i do for them. i meet so many people and do what i can for them, they still dont care. i dont think anyone udnerstsbds what im saying and rhats probably my fault. am i even coherent?
jve done what i can to try and imprive things and its all useless, ive knly made my life worse. im at a ooint where its beyond my control. i do what i can and nothjgn helps at all. genuinely the knly thjgns that could give me a chance at releiif from this constant torture is getting my frienfs back, but thats out of my control. i need a miracle, but it's not comjng. no one cares, more yapping for the void.