A
AllReturnsToNothing
I'm useless
- Aug 5, 2020
- 222
Title. I don't really have any real passions. I mean, there are things that I enjoy and I guess i've enjoyed for a while, but I never hold on to them too tightly or for too long. I just float from one interest to the other with no rhyme or reason, unable to focus on any one thing for any prolonged period of time before I get bored of it. I do have ambitions. I always wanted to create things which is probably why I wanted to be an artist as a kid. I grew out of that as I got burned out and lost interest in traditional visual art. Then my ambition moved to video games and I wanted to learn how to code extensively but after taking an object oriented programming class I lost interest in that too when I became too frustrated with the complexity of it. I even had renewed interest in rom hacking trying my hand and using tools created by other people to try and make something special with my own touch, and I fell off of that. Didn't even finish a single level. I tried writing again and fell off of that too. I don't have any long term passion to hold on too. Just vague and impossible hopes of graunduer and success with no tools to get there. I can never stick to anything and see it through. That must be why I left my job less than 8 months in. I get burned out and start decaying and burdened. I can't even finish the tiniest simple self-indulgent projects before I get tired and give up. I'll never be able to see anything through. I am nothing.