Venting I can’t handle living

[imsorrythatimhere]

I can't handle living at all. One little thing doesn't go my way and I stay in my room and cry and think about dying. My parents yell at me? Great, might as well pull the trigger if I had a gun. My mom constantly says that I don't have any real problems and that I'll never be able to handle the real world if I'm like this right now inside. And guess what? She's fucking right and I hate that so much, that I just can't handle anything and that I'm too weak and all and that there is really nothing that makes me happy anymore.

I also don't have anyone to talk to anymore. By which I mean people who won't give me empty platitudes. I used to have good friends who could I relate to but half of them have cut me off because of how downright terrible of a person I was to them. The other half are now busy, and simply don't care after we've all sort of fallen apart, to which I can't fault them for because everyone really has changed. And everyday it hits me, that I'm so fucking lonely, that the people who I have left don't care and just tell me to get therapy. Every-time I think I've accepted it, and yet later I realize it again and I feel so surprised and just drained.

I don't have a good way of dying either, not for the foreseeable future. I just can't see how I'm going to survive in the meantime. (Not that I have a choice).

anyways yeah, thanks for reading

 

[SN?0RN0t]

Im sorry you are feeling this way. Just know you always have options. This website is a safe place to express yourself an how you feel and to know you arent alone.

 

[PrettyMoose]

Yeah, I don't have anyone IRL who gives anything other than empty platitudes too. It sucks. I'm glad you've found a place where you can vent and not receive those same platitudes.

 

[fixitinpost]

Have you spoken to a psychiatrist about this? It's common for depression to affect the way we react to stuff. It doesn't have anything to do with being weak.

I think your mother is both right and wrong. Wrong in saying that this isn't a real problem for you. It clearly is. My mother used to invalidate my feelings like this all the time, and it's a fucked up kind of parenting.

However, she is right in saying that life is going to be hard to manage this way. They say that the only certainty in life is death, but I'd say things not going your way is just as certain. Life is made of setbacks. The good news is that even if you choose to do nothing about it (which I don't recommend), time is your ally here. The older you get, and the more setbacks you go through, you tend to start giving less shits about it.

You're not alone. We're here for you, and you're free to shoot me a PM anytime. Take care. :)

 

[Deleted member 23885]

I can't handle living either. But, unfortunately i'm stuck here :(