Help I can't give value for people and things

[Faaye]

At first I apologize my English, hope that you can understand everything. So my problem begin when my mom died ten years ago, and i start to feel what depression is with nine yo. Since that day my life just turn around. I stop talking with some friends and family, a strange empty feeling about everything, they just were weightless to me. I still cared about some friends, but over time I ended up pushing away the only friends I had left.
And that brings us to currently. I have 19yo, no job, no gf, no friends, just a empty body struggling the most to not give up, but everyday considering to. I'm in medication, antidepressant, but it's not working, and the people around me trust in me too much and I rarely have a time to be with someone that I want (3ppl max). I spend all my day in my room, I'm barely taking a shower and I feel like nothing makes sense (nihilist by mistake) and I feel like I'm going to give up in a month or less... I just need a light, someone that already went through it, what worked, what made you see beauty in things again, like tastes and feelings??? I'm really desperate.

 

[9BBN]

I've been in and out of ruts like this many times. My best advice is bring yourself to get outside and exercise, and don't be hard on yourself for not being who you want to be yet. Try to remember what you're passionate about. Try to maximize delayed-gratification over the immediately-gratifying things that keep you stuck, like laying in bed. Think over and over about how much better you will feel if you accomplish the goals you have.

 

[hopelessdreams]

i'm nowhere near recovered, everyday is a challenge. but what helps me is setting small goals everyday, like: taking a shower, drinking a glass of water, go to the gym for 30 minutes. in the moment i think "what's the point? it doesn't fucking matter" but when i monitor my feelings closely, i always feel a lot better after accomplishing these things.

life is suffering, always has and always will. the only way to bear the suffering is to find meaning and purpose. that can be in your job (helping people), your hobbies (making art as a emotional outlet), or nature (experiencing the world and traveling). all those things seem very out of reach and overwhelming, i know. and that's why you need to start small, like with taking a shower. that's how you build routine, it takes time.