Venting I can't get up the stairs

[sumbumedguy]

I can't evan get up the stairs i leteraly can't move my foot up any more I'm hard core sobbing and I don't know why there's so many reasons I'm just stuck here in the middle of the staircase leaning against the wall I have to cry quietly Evan tho my tshirt is actually getting wet and I keep dry retching I'm not sick I'm just done with this stupid shit I wanna just die right now I don't Evan care I want to run into a freeway if I'm lucky I can die a slow agonizing death fuck everyone and every thing . I can't Evan sit here in the middle of that stairs and cry. my stupid whore of amother is trying to giult trip me into cleaning the dishes and if I break my mask there going to send me to an asylum "to fix " me the person I love dosent want to tslk to me and won't Evan break my heart properly to love someone to the point that I m staying here so they won't think there responsible and not have it returned by Evan a text...... I havent met them in months it's torture. my parents would kill me if they found out I was in love and they would make her life hell 2 there so focased on bullshit aperancce that when they saw my cuts they got rid of everything remotely dangerous and all my cloths that weren't long sleeves I'm down to 40 bucks now but it might as well be zero so I can't evan kill myself I can'tevan buy a rope or a razor to cut w/ becausenno one would take me 3 the store or let my by them because "it would tarnish our family immage"I have no actual talent and no where to go Noone would hire a dumb ugly pig like me or evan be friends with. me i graduated last year valedictorian and prez of multiple clubs I thought I had friends I haven't talked to nyof them since graduation 6months ago Noone would date me because they thought I didn't have romantic feelings or that I was to ugly to Evan hook up with. Im a good kid by society bullshit rules i never drank smoked hell I never Evan kissed or hugged someone with both arms or went to a party later than 730 and I was presid9of robotics and chemistry club why can't I be happy I'm living so many people's dreams that's a perfect teen but it's all fake "your so smart your going to be super successful one day", "I bet you never got dumped", "I'm really glad your not dating anyone you can focas on your studys " "your alwayssso cheerful how do you manage that" "wow did you see that scarlet top it's beautiful I wish I could have that" it's not scarlet it's red red with my blood from me cutting my self i could be crying and th mask I wore would just have people belive I got some chems in my eyes

 

[sumbumedguy]

all I really want if for my crush to love me back atleast is that so much to ask not Evan romanticly as a close friend I would be more than happy if they were with another person along as I also was important person in thier life 2 hell if we were together I wouldn't Evan carw if there were strangers in my bed room as long as I got a kiss when we met

 

[Aaron Josef]

I can't evan get up the stairs i leteraly can't move my foot up any more I'm hard core sobbing and I don't know why there's so many reasons I'm just stuck here in the middle of the staircase leaning against the wall I have to cry quietly Evan tho my tshirt is actually getting wet and I keep dry retching I'm not sick I'm just done with this stupid shit I wanna just die right now I don't Evan care I want to run into a freeway if I'm lucky I can die a slow agonizing death fuck everyone and every thing . I can't Evan sit here in the middle of that stairs and cry. my stupid whore of amother is trying to giult trip me into cleaning the dishes and if I break my mask there going to send me to an asylum "to fix " me the person I love dosent want to tslk to me and won't Evan break my heart properly to love someone to the point that I m staying here so they won't think there responsible and not have it returned by Evan a text...... I havent met them in months it's torture. my parents would kill me if they found out I was in love and they would make her life hell 2 there so focased on bullshit aperancce that when they saw my cuts they got rid of everything remotely dangerous and all my cloths that weren't long sleeves I'm down to 40 bucks now but it might as well be zero so I can't evan kill myself I can'tevan buy a rope or a razor to cut w/ becausenno one would take me 3 the store or let my by them because "it would tarnish our family immage"I have no actual talent and no where to go Noone would hire a dumb ugly pig like me or evan be friends with. me i graduated last year valedictorian and prez of multiple clubs I thought I had friends I haven't talked to nyof them since graduation 6months ago Noone would date me because they thought I didn't have romantic feelings or that I was to ugly to Evan hook up with. Im a good kid by society bullshit rules i never drank smoked hell I never Evan kissed or hugged someone with both arms or went to a party later than 730 and I was presid9of robotics and chemistry club why can't I be happy I'm living so many people's dreams that's a perfect teen but it's all fake "your so smart your going to be super successful one day", "I bet you never got dumped", "I'm really glad your not dating anyone you can focas on your studys " "your alwayssso cheerful how do you manage that" "wow did you see that scarlet top it's beautiful I wish I could have that" it's not scarlet it's red red with my blood from me cutting my self i could be crying and th mask I wore would just have people belive I got some chems in my eyes

How come you can't get up the stairs?
That's a Sad story bro.
Sorry :(

 

[sumbumedguy]

I mean I could and I did but like I was just walking up and then some part of me was like why keep going like my brain just was like no so I leaned against the wall cried for a bit dragged my self upstairs screamed on the internet nd now here