I can’t get number

[Whitewash11235814]

I'm as numb as anyone can be. I could care less about normal everyday things, goals, pursuits, etc. everything is irrelevant in my world.
I have lost complete sensation of everything. I can't feel aroused like I used to, I can't go out for a walk and feel colors and my atmosphere, I can't feel motivated by goals, I can't understand the purpose of life, and most importantly I just wanna die and Rest In Peace.

the worst part is that I don't even care about dying. That's how strong the apathy is.


This happened 2-3 months ago.

 

[ghostspace]

how long have you been diagnosed with depression?

 

[faust]

I am sorry you have lost taste of your life...
When I was reading your thread, it was like about me...
Nothing interests me these days, I cannot even feel pleasure.
The world is gray, the feelings and sensations are all gone.
This is horrible and I know how it feels.
Sending you my hug

 

[Whitewash11235814]

how long have you been diagnosed with depression?

Been depressed 5 years but this numbness took over 2-3 months ago.

This isn't life. This is existence.

 

[ghostspace]

Been depressed 5 years but this numbness took over 2-3 months ago.

This isn't life. This is existence.

I understand. I'm very sorry you're experiencing so much apathy.

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I just want to make sure; have you been in treatment/on medication for your depression?

 

[Whitewash11235814]

I understand. I'm very sorry you're experiencing so much apathy.

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I just want to make sure; have you been in treatment/on medication for your depression?

Yes. Tried all including TMS.

 

[ghostspace]

Yes. Tried all including TMS.

Treatment resistant depression is a monster. You're absolutely not alone there; I've been trying everything available with no results. I know it doesn't fix anything, but I hope at least the support here makes it a little less intolerable.