I can't face tomorrow

[Seekingawayout]

I just can't. I can't keep going on. But everytime I get a window of opportunity, I am overwhelmed with anxiety. It sounds contradictory, but it makes me want to stab myself in the neck. IDK why... I think in my mind because if I could do it, there's no turning back. All I know is my anxiety for another tomorrow is overwhelming, and my anxiety about the noose is overwhelming.
For some reason, I am much more willing to go through with it between midnight and 4 am. But I have the opportunity now and my anxiety won't cooperate. I hate this!

 

[jessisme]

Maybe you need a different method.

 

[Seekingawayout]

Maybe you need a different method.

If only I had one. But I don't have much in the way of options. Tried SWB, that was a fail. CO or exit bag is out. I don't have anywhere to do them or the money to do them. SN is an iffy prospect because I am missing a large portion of my small intestine and it causes malabsorption. So I'm afraid I wouldn't absorb enough. There is no where to jump from anywhere close to me.

 

[Kyoko shima]

Oh dear I'm sorry

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that it's so awful having limited ways to leave this world. Existence really is so prison like when we have to struggle so much in finding ways to be gone and it really sounds like you have suffered so much, it must be so tiring being in that situation. But anyway, best of luck. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.