Leech
ɴᴏᴡ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟy ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟ
- Aug 8, 2020
- 205
I gotta vent this out before I lose my fucking mind and this is the only place I really can that I know my boyfriend won't see.
My boyfriend and I have been together for one month shy of a year. In that time I've been really happy, haven't really thought about wanting to ctb which is new for me considering it used to occupy my every thought. But holy shit it's starting to hit me and being with him is so much more work than I'm able to do. I've always had a hard time keeping things organized and clean but I've been trying to make an effort and I was doing really good but more and more I don't even have time to my fucking self so I cant even clean my living space even if I wanted to.
He doesn't get it because he has time during the week and his classes are still online but during the week I wake up at 6 am, get ready, do the dishes, bus 2hrs to school, do my classes, bus 2 hrs back, go home, eat, sleep. When I don't have classes he's at my fucking house. He is literally coming to my house today the second I get off class. And I wouldn't care if he didn't spend the entire time I'm doing anything begging for my attention and crying that I'm not giving him attention.
Last week I was literally trying to figure out shit with my medication because my online pharmacy is doing some stupid shit and won't send my meds and I have none left. And he starts crying on my bed because he "doesn't know why" and then is begging for me to help him. What the fuck am I supposed to do if even you don't know why you're crying. Jesus Christ. And today he tells me it's because he's afraid of his life getting boring and doing the same thing every week so we gotta do new things so he doesn't get stressed. Like he's a fucking dog. How is making his life interesting my responsibility? Maybe he can spend the rest of the week he has free doing interesting shit? My weekends are my only time off I do not want to be going out adventuring sorry.
This stupid fucking rich silver spoon kid is privileged for this to be the only thing he has to be stressing and crying over. My dad is going in for surgery on Tuesday and he may be unable to work for up to a year and we'll be living off my mom's shitty underpaid careworker income. We already live in cheap subsidized housing and we may not even be able to keep that if my dad doesn't recover quickly. And I can't work because I spent all my time at school and my brother is still in high school. He knows this shit and he wants to spring on me that he's sad and crying in MY bed because he's BORED? Grow the fuck up. He doesn't realize how privileged he is.
His parents are home owners in BC. His parents home is like 1 mil minimum. And he has the audacity to come to my rented house in a low income complex and complain that the carpets are torn, it smells like dog (I have two big dogs so no shit buddy), our towels are old, etc. We cannot AFFORD to do anything about it. Instead of complaining to me, count your damn blessings.
I can't bring myself to leave him or break up with him tho. I can't do better. Despite everything he's (usually) very sweet and caring. He's also my only chance at financial stability because lol I'm an artist so I'm just asking to stay poor. But alas, I find myself back here because I'm going insane. I have no time to myself, I don't even have time to write my final essay or do my final painting for the semester. I have one again found myself contemplating ctb because I can't take it anymore and it feels easier to just end it all so I don't have to worry about anything anymore and just be free. But I know I won't because I'm lazy and chicken. Hence the reason why I'm still on this forum after 2 years. Lol.
My boyfriend and I have been together for one month shy of a year. In that time I've been really happy, haven't really thought about wanting to ctb which is new for me considering it used to occupy my every thought. But holy shit it's starting to hit me and being with him is so much more work than I'm able to do. I've always had a hard time keeping things organized and clean but I've been trying to make an effort and I was doing really good but more and more I don't even have time to my fucking self so I cant even clean my living space even if I wanted to.
He doesn't get it because he has time during the week and his classes are still online but during the week I wake up at 6 am, get ready, do the dishes, bus 2hrs to school, do my classes, bus 2 hrs back, go home, eat, sleep. When I don't have classes he's at my fucking house. He is literally coming to my house today the second I get off class. And I wouldn't care if he didn't spend the entire time I'm doing anything begging for my attention and crying that I'm not giving him attention.
Last week I was literally trying to figure out shit with my medication because my online pharmacy is doing some stupid shit and won't send my meds and I have none left. And he starts crying on my bed because he "doesn't know why" and then is begging for me to help him. What the fuck am I supposed to do if even you don't know why you're crying. Jesus Christ. And today he tells me it's because he's afraid of his life getting boring and doing the same thing every week so we gotta do new things so he doesn't get stressed. Like he's a fucking dog. How is making his life interesting my responsibility? Maybe he can spend the rest of the week he has free doing interesting shit? My weekends are my only time off I do not want to be going out adventuring sorry.
This stupid fucking rich silver spoon kid is privileged for this to be the only thing he has to be stressing and crying over. My dad is going in for surgery on Tuesday and he may be unable to work for up to a year and we'll be living off my mom's shitty underpaid careworker income. We already live in cheap subsidized housing and we may not even be able to keep that if my dad doesn't recover quickly. And I can't work because I spent all my time at school and my brother is still in high school. He knows this shit and he wants to spring on me that he's sad and crying in MY bed because he's BORED? Grow the fuck up. He doesn't realize how privileged he is.
His parents are home owners in BC. His parents home is like 1 mil minimum. And he has the audacity to come to my rented house in a low income complex and complain that the carpets are torn, it smells like dog (I have two big dogs so no shit buddy), our towels are old, etc. We cannot AFFORD to do anything about it. Instead of complaining to me, count your damn blessings.
I can't bring myself to leave him or break up with him tho. I can't do better. Despite everything he's (usually) very sweet and caring. He's also my only chance at financial stability because lol I'm an artist so I'm just asking to stay poor. But alas, I find myself back here because I'm going insane. I have no time to myself, I don't even have time to write my final essay or do my final painting for the semester. I have one again found myself contemplating ctb because I can't take it anymore and it feels easier to just end it all so I don't have to worry about anything anymore and just be free. But I know I won't because I'm lazy and chicken. Hence the reason why I'm still on this forum after 2 years. Lol.
I've been here a while too. Never quite seem to CTB. sorry about your bf and circumstances.. I hope you can remind him that he's privileged!
