I cant do it

[FireFox]

I just can't do it . I am 24 years old and i am immature for my age. This is one of the biggest reasons why I want to kill myself. It is all inevitable.

Whenever I make a mistake or don't understand how things work or fail to do things properly it is reminder that I am immature and have failed to grow up. The awareness of my own immaturity is just too much. The realisation I don't know how to navigate the world at age you supposed to be an adult it is so humiliating.

I have got a job now and my family are proud of me but I feel like a failure everyday. I am struggling to cope with work from home.

This is my first ever job and I feel so insecure that I have never worked and constantly have this need to do better in my job. I envy people who worked in their teenage years because they know how to navigate the workplace and are just so mature.

My 20s have been awful and I dont want to live to see another decade.

 

[dyingalone123]

I just can't do it . I am 24 years old and i am immature for my age. This is one of the biggest reasons why I want to kill myself.

Whenever I make a mistake or don't understand how things work or fail to do things properly it is reminder that I am immature and have failed to grow up. The awareness of my own immaturity is just too much. The realisation I don't how to navigate the world at age you supposed to be an adult it is so humiliating.

I have got a job now and my family are proud of me but I feel like a failure everyday. I am struggling to cope with work from home.

This is my first ever job and I feel so insecure that I have never worked and constantly have this need to do better in my job. I envy people who worked in their teenage years because they know how to navigate the workplace and are just so mature.

My 20s have been awful and I dont want to live to see another decade.

dont be too hard on yourself. Wish I could say the same thing for myself. You're still young - take it a day at a time. Overtime, maybe you won't think about the idea of immaturity as much. Many people would say Im immature myself too.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I am 36 and i am not mature either. You are not alone

 

[aludnelac]

sometimes we get locked into certain ages and maturity stages.. it can be overcome with enough work, but it feels like it's one of these cumulative things that just gets worse the more you try to push back against it.. i'm 28, and don't really feel like i've been able to grow very much since i was about 20.. it's rough feeling like that :c

 

[NothingElseMatters]

you are ALWAYS complaining about job geez, get over it.

 

[chocolatebar]

I can relate to that. I was jobless in my early twenties until I got a moderately paying job and all my family congratulated me while I lived some of the worst days of my life. In the end, I couldn't work and they've put me into a leave of absence and I can't get "back" to work anymore.

you are ALWAYS complaining about job geez, get over it.

We're all suffering here and some people are more affected by some aspects of life than others and telling someone to "get over it" isn't something helpful and it's the kind of "advice" we get from outside of ss

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I feel you man. I'm 37 and have never been able to figure anything out for myself and to this day lack all motivation to improve. I live like a kid and just bounce from one stupid impulse/dopamine hit to the other. I can't really figure out why I'm this way either. I do remember feeling overwhelmed and scared by everything from an early age which resulted in a kind of lifelong opting out of everything. At least, I think that's what happened.

There are many people like you, but you've already done very well in getting a job which is more than many of us can manage. Just do the best you can with it and try to grow over time. You are still really young, and the world is incredibly complex these days, so it really isn't just you. Everything has gotten harder and more involved.

 

[Bone]

I am 36 and i am not mature either. You are not alone

35 and right there with you.

 

[Sebuet]

I just can't do it . I am 24 years old and i am immature for my age. This is one of the biggest reasons why I want to kill myself. It is all inevitable.

Whenever I make a mistake or don't understand how things work or fail to do things properly it is reminder that I am immature and have failed to grow up. The awareness of my own immaturity is just too much. The realisation I don't know how to navigate the world at age you supposed to be an adult it is so humiliating.

I have got a job now and my family are proud of me but I feel like a failure everyday. I am struggling to cope with work from home.

This is my first ever job and I feel so insecure that I have never worked and constantly have this need to do better in my job. I envy people who worked in their teenage years because they know how to navigate the workplace and are just so mature.

My 20s have been awful and I dont want to live to see another decade.

Your post resonates with me. 22, never had proper job.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I just can't do it . I am 24 years old and i am immature for my age. This is one of the biggest reasons why I want to kill myself. It is all inevitable.

Whenever I make a mistake or don't understand how things work or fail to do things properly it is reminder that I am immature and have failed to grow up. The awareness of my own immaturity is just too much. The realisation I don't know how to navigate the world at age you supposed to be an adult it is so humiliating.

I have got a job now and my family are proud of me but I feel like a failure everyday. I am struggling to cope with work from home.

This is my first ever job and I feel so insecure that I have never worked and constantly have this need to do better in my job. I envy people who worked in their teenage years because they know how to navigate the workplace and are just so mature.

My 20s have been awful and I dont want to live to see another decade.

Hi Firefox, don't think other people are so much better than you and more mature. Some people will have all the things society says make them mature and successful yet they can't even apologise for the wrong they've done, they can't be alone, they're gaslighters (which shows they lack emotional responsibility - is that maturity?). They lash out at others and so much more. You are more mature than these people in the same areas of your life that they are immature in.


I am your age and have had 4 retail/box office jobs and maybe to you I would come across as mature and competent but actually, on the inside I am ruled by my fears - I avoid things so badly and that includes all the jobs I've had once I get overwhelmed. I just left. Then what good does that maturity and competence do?

You might think because this area in your life is challenging at the moment, your life will be a challenge, but you have a private/personal life (that I would argue is more important) that is at the least filled with people who love you and are proud of you. Some people have all the control in their work lives but their personal lives (which is closer to the heart and soul) are a mess.

Maybe try going to a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist and explaining your struggles so far, there may be a diagnosis which will explain everything and introduce coping strategies that you never knew existed.

Also, loads of workplaces have helpful, kind employees who want to help you and just generally have a positive time while at work. Although I know you are working from home now, this is your first job; once out in the world you will see how much easier it is to ask for and receive help once actually in person with employees who you can visually see doing the things you are struggling with. You can mimic them and they can also see what it is you are doing wrong. Trust me, it is so much more personal and easier to work once in a workplace.


Congrats on your new job Firefox, what a leap of bravery and faith from you. I believe in you, don't make your mind up about work until you've tried working in a friendly workplace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I cannot do life either. I am not meant for this world and I know my suicide is inevitable. I'm sorry you are suffering, I understand that life can be extremely tiring and I get that it can be hard to carry on. I do not want to see another decade too. I wish you the best.

 

[FireFox]

I can relate to that. I was jobless in my early twenties until I got a moderately paying job and all my family congratulated me while I lived some of the worst days of my life. In the end, I couldn't work and they've put me into a leave of absence and I can't get "back" to work anymore.

We're all suffering here and some people are more affected by some aspects of life than others and telling someone to "get over it" isn't something helpful and it's the kind of "advice" we get from outside of ss

Stablewater i have crippling low self esteem and it is just everything in my life. On the outside everyone sees a person that appears to be confident, naturally good at talking to people and having fun.

I constantly feel like a failure even when people compliment me I just can't believe it.

I always feel like something is going to go wrong ..

I have never experienced abuse from anyone but the only abuse I receive is from my own intrusive negative thoughts.

I had a great day today at work as I was attending a workplace training day and will be attending another one tomorrow.

I am so sorry to hear that. I hope y things work out for you my friend.

 

[FutureNoomp]

Adult life is overrated

 

[FireFox]

Hi Firefox, don't think other people are so much better than you and more mature. Some people will have all the things society says make them mature and successful yet they can't even apologise for the wrong they've done, they can't be alone, they're gaslighters (which shows they lack emotional responsibility - is that maturity?). They lash out at others and so much more. You are more mature than these people in the same areas of your life that they are immature in.


I am your age and have had 4 retail/box office jobs and maybe to you I would come across as mature and competent but actually, on the inside I am ruled by my fears - I avoid things so badly and that includes all the jobs I've had once I get overwhelmed. I just left. Then what good does that maturity and competence do?

You might think because this area in your life is challenging at the moment, your life will be a challenge, but you have a private/personal life (that I would argue is more important) that is at the least filled with people who love you and are proud of you. Some people have all the control in their work lives but their personal lives (which is closer to the heart and soul) are a mess.

Maybe try going to a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist and explaining your struggles so far, there may be a diagnosis which will explain everything and introduce coping strategies that you never knew existed.

Also, loads of workplaces have helpful, kind employees who want to help you and just generally have a positive time while at work. Although I know you are working from home now, this is your first job; once out in the world you will see how much easier it is to ask for and receive help once actually in person with employees who you can visually see doing the things you are struggling with. You can mimic them and they can also see what it is you are doing wrong. Trust me, it is so much more personal and easier to work once in a workplace.


Congrats on your new job Firefox, what a leap of bravery and faith from you. I believe in you, don't make your mind up about work until you've tried working in a friendly workplace.

Phia2021 Thank you and today I had a great day at work . I constantly overthink things I wish I wasn't this way. I wish i could turn off that part of me and just be normal like everyone else.

I feel so immature due to the fact I am doing things a lot later than most people my age. Most this was through no choice my own. The realisation of how little I know about life is sometimes too much.

Growing up when i was teenager i never had a boyfriend whereas all the girls in school did. Just seeing my classmates have relationships and know about sex I just felt so behind.

I have liked guys in the past but they have never liked me back. I was the weird kid at school who got picked on and struggled to fit in.

Being 24 and never having a relationship I am an outsider among women my age. I can't relate to women my age as I have not experienced what they have. Films and media in general is centred on teenage relationships so I do feel abnormal never having a boyfriend as a teenager.

Adult life is overrated

FutureNoomp I want to kill myself so I don't have go through ageing and growing up. My twenties are just a mess and I don't want to live to see another decade .

I wish I had an older sibling because I would someone to teach me how to deal with life. People who have older siblings are very lucky. I love my little sister so much but I wish I was not the first born as its so lonely because there is no one guide me and advise me if I am having problems.

Yes my mum loves but there somethings parents dont understand which is where siblings step in.

The worst thing was I really wanted to live but I just didn't know how. If I was helped to live and actually taught how to mature then things would have been better.

For me suicide is an escape from a world I don't know where I truly belong and struggle to navigate it.

 

[idiot_dad]

I'm 42 and have the same feelings. The funny thing is most people will tell you I'm accomplished and composed - but inside I always feel like a failure. I started a project a couple of months ago, and for the first two weeks I had panic attacks every morning. Granted, it was a very challenging job with a high potential for failure. One day I even had to call in sick because I was so panicked. Now that I'm old, I see that everyone has these feelings to some degree. It's actually pretty normal. In professional circles they call it "imposter syndrome."

One of my regrets is being afraid of failure when I was younger. I really didn't have a big career failure until three years ago, when I came close to losing everything. Once I experienced that big failure, I wasn't so afraid of screwing up anymore. I got a little bit used to it.

One of my friends gave me a really helpful suggestion. When he's nervous about something, he tells himself "let's see how bad I can screw this up" in a funny / playful way. I tried that out, and it actually really helped my mental state.

I start a new project this week as well that I'm really nervous about. Wish me luck, and I hope you have a good week as well.

 

[FireFox]

dont be too hard on yourself. Wish I could say the same thing for myself. You're still young - take it a day at a time. Overtime, maybe you won't think about the idea of immaturity as much. Many people would say Im immature myself too.

Dyingalone123
The realisation that I am immature is just overwhelming and all around me throughout my life I am constantly reminded of my immaturity.

When I was at school everyone in my class knew about sex and relationships wheras I didn't .

One time in class there was a discussion about a company that sells viagra which the teacher used as a case study. I asked what was viagra and the whole class laughed. it was so embarrassing

When I was school a lot of people were coupled up and just seeing my classmates have relationships they looked so grown up because they were going to places with their partners and making all these exciting plans. I was just the odd one out not having a relationship. The guys in school were interested in me.

Majority of teenage girl has a boyfriend whereas I didn't.Not having a relationship so young I feel so left behind and find myself having to learn everything from scratch. My first relationship will be a new learning experience it scares me so much.
We live in a culture in which having romantic relationships as a teenager is the norm .

It's other things as well. The fact that I don't know things society expects you to know as an adult I do feel like a failure

 

[dyingalone123]

I

Dyingalone123
The realisation that I am immature is just overwhelming and all around me throughout my life I am constantly reminded of my immaturity.

When I was at school everyone in my class knew about sex and relationships wheras I didn't .

One time in class there was a discussion about a company that sells viagra which the teacher used as a case study. I asked what was viagra and the whole class laughed. it was so embarrassing

When I was school a lot of people were coupled up and just seeing my classmates have relationships they looked so grown up because they were going to places with their partners and making all these exciting plans. I was just the odd one out not having a relationship. The guys in school were interested in me.

Majority of teenage girl has a boyfriend whereas I didn't.Not having a relationship so young I feel so left behind and find myself having to learn everything from scratch. My first relationship will be a new learning experience it scares me so much.
We live in a culture in which having romantic relationships as a teenager is the norm .

It's other things as well. The fact that I don't know things society expects you to know as an adult I do feel like a failure

I just want to give you a hug. I didn't have my real first bf till I was 28 and even then it ended up as a disaster. You're new to it and that's ok.
I really suggest you take time off of social media. Don't compare your reality to what's posted online. Please take time off of social media. Read some books.
Boys aren't everything. Focus on yourself. Really. Focus on growing on a study or a project. Maybe look into anime - I was a huge fan of that when I was at your age.

 

[chocolatebar]

Stablewater i have crippling low self esteem and it is just everything in my life. On the outside everyone sees a person that appears to be confident, naturally good at talking to people and having fun.

I constantly feel like a failure even when people compliment me I just can't believe it.

I always feel like something is going to go wrong ..

I have never experienced abuse from anyone but the only abuse I receive is from my own intrusive negative thoughts.

I had a great day today at work as I was attending a workplace training day and will be attending another one tomorrow.

I am so sorry to hear that. I hope y things work out for you my friend.

for how long do you remember having such a low self esteem? Since your childhood?

 

[dyingalone123]

With intrusive thoughts - don't fight them! Acknowledge them and let them go. Label that thought - oh there's this thought again.. let it go. It's ok to have bad thoughts - I get them too. Don't fight it. Just let it go.

What do you value in life OP? do you value animals? Go volunteer at an animal shelter. Just an example.

 

[Tonight634]

I just can't do it . I am 24 years old and i am immature for my age. This is one of the biggest reasons why I want to kill myself. It is all inevitable.

Whenever I make a mistake or don't understand how things work or fail to do things properly it is reminder that I am immature and have failed to grow up. The awareness of my own immaturity is just too much. The realisation I don't know how to navigate the world at age you supposed to be an adult it is so humiliating.

I have got a job now and my family are proud of me but I feel like a failure everyday. I am struggling to cope with work from home.

This is my first ever job and I feel so insecure that I have never worked and constantly have this need to do better in my job. I envy people who worked in their teenage years because they know how to navigate the workplace and are just so mature.

My 20s have been awful and I dont want to live to see another decade.

I think you'll learn it over time, I know it's tough, my first part time job (and the last so far lol I'm lazy) was scary af, I made so many mistakes in less than a month it was crazy, but I did it. You can absolutely do it, don't be too hard on yourself and don't overthink it. I started living by myself partially at the age of 15 and shit was haaard af, but now looking back I have learned to exist in this world without anyone taking care of me, but it took me four years. You have time, it'll become easier. Wishing you luck and lots of love and patience

 

[FireFox]

for how long do you remember having such a low self esteem? Since your childhood?

Stablewater childhood was brilliant. I had close friends who went to the same primary school as me . I was invited to their birthday parties and their homes during the weekend. I was a happy child. It all went wrong in my teenage years and twenties.

In secondary school most my friends in primary school went to different schools and contact became less and less. I had one friend who went to the same primary school as me and ended up going to the same secondary school as me. She ended up getting boyfriend and new friends. She was quite popular. She didn't really talk to me anymore.

I was just lonely in secondary school. I was builled a lot which led to me getting in to lots of fights , I struggled to fit in generally. I became more aware how out place I feel and aware of my own inadequacies. My family were not that great at listening so didn't take my feelings seriously.

My low self-esteem I just developed negative and intrusive thoughts. I put a lot of pressure on myself I don't even know why.

 

[chocolatebar]

Stablewater childhood was brilliant. I had close friends who went to the same primary school as me . I was invited to their birthday parties and their homes during the weekend. I was a happy child. It all went wrong in my teenage years and twenties.

In secondary school most my friends in primary school went to different schools and contact became less and less. I had one friend who went to the same primary school as me and ended up going to the same secondary school as me. She ended up getting boyfriend and new friends. She was quite popular. She didn't really talk to me anymore.

I was just lonely in secondary school. I was builled a lot which led to me getting in to lots of fights , I struggled to fit in generally. I became more aware how out place I feel and aware of my own inadequacies. My family were not that great at listening so didn't take my feelings seriously.

My low self-esteem I just developed negative and intrusive thoughts. I put a lot of pressure on myself I don't even know why.

I was detached from early childhood and it was terrible. I can only imagine it's ever harder for you, because you experienced for a little while what good feelings are, but lost it...

I'm intrigued by those intrusive thoughts. Can you talk a little more about them?

 

[FireFox]

Stablewater childhood was brilliant. I had close friends who went to the same primary school as me . I was invited to their birthday parties and their homes during the weekend. I was a happy child.

In secondary school most my friends in primary school went to different schools and contact became less and less. I had one friend who went to the same primary school as me and ended up going to the same secondary school as me. She ended up getting boyfriend and new friends. She was quite popular.

I was just lonely in secondary school. I was builled a lot which led to me getting in to lots of fights , I struggled to fit in generally. I became more aware how out place I feel and aware of my own inadequacies.

My low self-esteem I just developed negative and intrusive thoughts. I put a lot of pressure on myself I don't even know why

I

I just want to give you a hug. I didn't have my real first bf till I was 28 and even then it ended up as a disaster. You're new to it and that's ok.
I really suggest you take time off of social media. Don't compare your reality to what's posted online. Please take time off of social media. Read some books.
Boys aren't everything. Focus on yourself. Really. Focus on growing on a study or a project. Maybe look into anime - I was a huge fan of that when I was at your age.

Dyingalone123 Thanks . It was seeing just people in school having relationships and I was only one out not having one. I did feel attractive because I didn't receive that level of love all the other girls received from the boys from school.

The worst thing I did reach out and people were nothing but judgemental and bullying. I talked about my insecurities using online anonymity in places where I expected to be treated with compassion. I have lost all hope in humanity and people because of my experiences of judgemental and vile people online .

First I reached out on a online forum for depression sufferers. The women on the forum were the MOST JUDGEMENTAL women ever. The women were so open about their suicide attempts, struggles with depression and their problems in their life. During lockdown I used the forum and I said I wished I died of covid19 instead of the doctors and nurses and all the good people of the world. The fourm members were just so judgemental and called me "selfish" and didn't even want to listen.

Rescently I went on a online forum for mothers and the mothers on the forum were just the absolute worst. I talked about my worries being single at 24 and another family issue I needed advice for. My threads all have been removed.

One of the mothers called me immature because of my interests. I mentioned on the forums I love dystopian fiction. Another mum told me to " grow up " and other mums say I was "wrong " because guys like a confident personality.

Most men want a supermodel especially in this hypersexualised society which is fixated on physical beauty and conformity to mainstream standards of beauty. A girl like me has one no chance. I have brown eyes and black hair which are boring. Blonde hair is more exciting and popular.

On reddit a sub someone found a small part of my removed thread . Everyone on the sub comments called me a " troll" because I used the word " female ". I was called a "female incel " and other comments said I was a man because of my writing.

The society makes me want to kill myself because I am sick and tired of never fitting in. I wish I was like everyone who just conformed exactly to what society expects them to be.

I wish I was super pretty ie blonde hair and literally a supermodel. Guys will be interested in me and actually notice me. I find it easy to talk people but it is not enough.

I didn't kill myself living in this world killed me. A world which was never made for a girl like me. I am a black woman, I am just weird.

I think you'll learn it over time, I know it's tough, my first part time job (and the last so far lol I'm lazy) was scary af, I made so many mistakes in less than a month it was crazy, but I did it. You can absolutely do it, don't be too hard on yourself and don't overthink it. I started living by myself partially at the age of 15 and shit was haaard af, but now looking back I have learned to exist in this world without anyone taking care of me, but it took me four years. You have time, it'll become easier. Wishing you luck and lots of love and patience

Tonight634 Thanks . I am sorry to hear you were living on your own at 15. So young.
I hope things work out for you.

 

[chocolatebar]

Dyingalone123 Thanks . It was seeing just people in school having relationships and I was only one out not having one. I did feel attractive because I didn't receive that level of love all the other girls received from the boys from school.

The worst thing I did reach out and people were nothing but judgemental and bullying. I talked about my insecurities using online anonymity in places where I expected to be treated with compassion. I have lost all hope in humanity and people because of my experiences of judgemental and vile people online .

First I reached out on a online forum for depression sufferers. The women on the forum were the MOST JUDGEMENTAL women ever. The women were so open about their suicide attempts, struggles with depression and their problems in their life. During lockdown I used the forum and I said I wished I died of covid19 instead of the doctors and nurses and all the good people of the world. The fourm members were just so judgemental and called me "selfish" and didn't even want to listen.

Rescently I went on a online forum for mothers and the mothers on the forum were just the absolute worst. I talked about my worries being single at 24 and another family issue I needed advice for. My threads all have been removed.

One of the mothers called me immature because of my interests. I mentioned on the forums I love dystopian fiction. Another mum told me to " grow up " and other mums say I was "wrong " because guys like a confident personality.

Most men want a supermodel especially in this hypersexualised society which is fixated on physical beauty and conformity to mainstream standards of beauty. A girl like me has one no chance. I have brown eyes and black hair which are boring. Blonde hair is more exciting and popular.

On reddit a sub someone found my removed thread . Everyone on the sub called me a " troll" because I used the word " female ". I was called a "female incel " and other comments said I was a man because of my writing.

The society makes me want to kill myself because I an sick and tired of never fitting in .

I'm so sorry your experiences with people on the internet were so bad... there are good people around, but it's so hard to find...

Most men want a supermodel especially in this hypersexualised society which is fixated on physical beauty and conformity to mainstream standards of beauty. A girl like me has one no chance. I have brown eyes and black hair which are boring. Blonde hair is more exciting and popular.

I can't speak for most of the man, but I don't even care for someone's appearance. What makes me love someone is the connection we build together, caring for each other, talking a lot, sharing our struggles and successes, laughing together, doing activities together, messing things up together and laughing it off, staying close to each other every moment, etc. For me, nothing is better than having a strong connection with somebody, loving and trusting the person until the end.

It was like this, until... she cheated on me just yesterday...

 

[FireFox]

Your post resonates with me. 22, never had proper job.

Sebuet Virtual hug you are still very young and can turn it around. I got my first job at 24. I dont even tell people this my first job.

My depression started at 21 and I believed my life was actually over. As a 24 year old I can now say this you still young and there is opportunities to turn your life around. It is just finding the right one.

You can go to university or a trade school. You can volunteer in something you care about.

It is all about finding something you care about and starting from there.

Good luck my friend

sometimes we get locked into certain ages and maturity stages.. it can be overcome with enough work, but it feels like it's one of these cumulative things that just gets worse the more you try to push back against it.. i'm 28, and don't really feel like i've been able to grow very much since i was about 20.. it's rough feeling like that :c

Aludnelac Virual hug if only people knew how difficult 20s actually are. I would have more respect for older adults and even society who actually talked about how hard HARD they found their 20s rather than boasting of their achievements in their 20s.

I hate our culture. We live in a culture that magnifies youth success especially within a persons early 20s or even teens. When see the forbes under 30 list or a time magazine cover of a young activist changing the world or young reality TV stars etc I feel like a failure.

It is hard not to feel like a failure when I see people my age being massive celebrities or doing massive things before they hit 30.

I am 36 and i am not mature either. You are not alone

Thanks @zeroornothing . This is what I love about Sanactioned Suicide is people on the site are actually real about their feelings whereas everyone else on other online forums are just fake and preachy and judgemental.

The online world and real world are 2 different entities but they are still full of judgemental people. The only difference people on the online world believe they are better than the people in the real world.
I went on a depression forum, fourm for mothers and reddit asking for help on how to deal with my insecurities and anxieties and all people did was not take seriously what I felt and just were judgemental. I use online forums because people in my own life don't even listen to me so I created an online personalities to express my true feelings which i can't express in the real world.

When I came here on Sanactioned Suicide everyone listened to me and became like a friend.

I cannot do life either. I am not meant for this world and I know my suicide is inevitable. I'm sorry you are suffering, I understand that life can be extremely tiring and I get that it can be hard to carry on. I do not want to see another decade too. I wish you the best.

@FuneralCry I know I will be dead when I reach 30 but I don't want to see another decade anymore.
Had things been different for example I was actually taught how to be a real adult and navigate all the confusion, if I had a partner who loved me and I had support on how to actually live then I would not want to end my life.

I did reach out and everyone was judgmental. On reddit, the depression and online sites for people looking for support. My family are not that great at listening either. My family don't understand me all . My mum is good at everything she doesn't know how it feels to be 24 and confused.

I wish I had an older sibling . If I had an older sibling I wouldn't want to kill myself as I know someone would be there support.

 

[forgotten15]

you are ALWAYS complaining about job geez, get over it.

Please, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. It's enough malice in this world we don't need it brought here.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I am not sure I want to "mature". I mean world is pretty shit, keeps me asking myself If it wasn't better to leave it.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

You're being waaay too hard on yourself. I understand how you feel. I'm 34. I have no education, no job, no perspectives really. I'm immature AF!! I don't wanna sound condescending or whatnot (in case I do), but you're young enough, it's your first job. Although it's natural to make mistakes at any age, so it's really okay. It stings you feel so insecure and like you don't fit or something. I'm sorry it stresses you out so much. But I'm sure you're doing more than great, and your family is rightly proud of you. Give yourself some credit.
But I get the feeling of not wanting to go on. Life is very hard. But sometimes things turn out better than you expect them to.
Anyways, there's a lot to think about. There's definitely no turning back once we're gone. Just make sure you think it through, before you make a final exit.
I wish you the best.