Venting I cant do it

[FlankerSandwhich]

I know I need to kill myself, but I can't.

I'm a bad person. I'm lazy, unmotivated, problematic, I just suck. I don't think these things are irredeemable on paper, but they're paired with the fact that I am unwilling to change. Instead of getting out of bed and starting the work I should do or trying to get a job, I just stay in bed and watch YouTube all day. I'm bad not because of what I do, but how I do it; my heart is rotten to the core.

I'm a disappointment to my family, and I bring down my friends. I have no positive impact on this planet. The only way I can reasonably take accountability and make things better is through death. So why can't I do it? It would be so easy to just go to the store, buy a rope, and hang myself, so why haven't I?

I'm pathetic, and I can't even make things right.
Update: I'm buying a rope in Amazon to make things easy. I'm going to ctb whether I want to or not, and finally take accountability

 

[hatosan]

Hello , wow I never thought I read something that hit home too close , the way you thinking and everything , its like I post it myself . I just hate myself for the same reason , I have been doing nothing , just stuck in my room playing game and watching youtube for 10 years . And what worse I don't have any friend , I've been loan money from a loan apps , and its catching me now . I'm just low of lowest of human society , that's why I plan to do CTB in 23 hours . I'm scared , I don't want to , but I must do it . My head hurts now just thinking about it , I feel lonely , but I must do it . Sorry for ranting in here , good luck for both of us

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I know I need to kill myself, but I can't.

I'm a bad person. I'm lazy, unmotivated, problematic, I just suck. I don't think these things are irredeemable on paper, but they're paired with the fact that I am unwilling to change. Instead of getting out of bed and starting the work I should do or trying to get a job, I just stay in bed and watch YouTube all day. I'm bad not because of what I do, but how I do it; my heart is rotten to the core.

I'm a disappointment to my family, and I bring down my friends. I have no positive impact on this planet. The only way I can reasonably take accountability and make things better is through death. So why can't I do it? It would be so easy to just go to the store, buy a rope, and hang myself, so why haven't I?

I'm pathetic, and I can't even make things right.
Update: I'm buying a rope in Amazon to make things easy. I'm going to ctb whether I want to or not, and finally take accountability

I am in exactly the same boat. Bad news, I already bought rope twice. I confessed and gave it to my dad both times. I've tried to FSH in maybe 5 episodes and tried to partial hang at least 20. I'm just not even close to commiting to it. Too scary and painful.

I know a gun is the way. But I'm too scared to buy and would be too scared to use. The walls are closing in and I just procrastinate with phone games and repetitive posts here. I barely even read what others say. Just whine and waste time.