I can't do it.

[throwaway123]

..........

 

[Miss clefable]

At least u can admit it

 

[quantumdynamics]

it's ok. be attentive to yourself. if you cannot or don't want to do it, put it aside (even if it's just "for the meanwhile").

 

[BagofBones]

That's completely ok. If you are set on it, maybe the timing isnt right. If you're lucky, you realized that you want to live and if thats the case I think we would all be happy for you. No one deserves to feel the way most of us do here.

Be patient with yourself. Death will be there when youre ready for it <3 <3

 

[Volomori83]

At least for now you might find yourself coping with life a lot better knowing the power is in your hands to end it when the time is right for you.

 

[DeadlyLiving]

I think most people want to end their life because they just don't have any hope left, because they think they can never be happy and just want all this pain and sadness to finally end. If you started feeling hope and again and think that your life is worth it to keep living, then you should give it a go. Either way, I wish you good luck and hope that you find your peace one way or another <3

 

[21Neberg]

It's ok. Every experiment with CTB brings us closer to actually going through with our attempts and being succesful.

 

[suffering]

Me neither. I will probably have to work my ass off in order to make sure I live a good life till the end. My survival instinct is so high I actually think I am capable of weird shit just to keep surviving. And I used to have such a good opinion about myself...

 

[MsM3talGamer]

There's no pressure. You should only CTB if you're 100% certain about it.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

..........

I am not certain if I am ready either suicidal thoughts always come and go may you find peace in life and or in death if and when you are ready don't feel bad I can't do it ether too many constants and variables at stake.

 

[OkTotti]

every night for the past 3 months, i pray that I don't wake up before i go to sleep.... i wonder if I'll have this lingering doubt when my times to CTB

 

[Dead_Inside]

Nothing to worry about there. Like everyone has said- there is no shame in not being able to kill yourself. That is normal. No shame in failing either (unless you are me).
Everything in its time.... just take care of yourself for a bit. Be as nice as you can to you- it's a nasty little world and you don't deserve to suffer.

 

[DeadlyLiving]

Like everyone has said- there is no shame in not being able to kill yourself. That is normal. No shame in failing either (unless you are me).

There is also no shame in failing for you. The human body is very resistant and for the most that's a good thing but if you try to kill yourself it's just annoying. Also it's normal if someone backs down, our emotions are complex and even if you really don't want to live, there is still your survival instinct and we drive ourselves crazy with the "but what if..."

I am pretty sure in the end you will find your peace, either way you will die someday, so heads up.

 

[Dead_Inside]

There is also no shame in failing for you. The human body is very resistant and for the most that's a good thing but if you try to kill yourself it's just annoying. Also it's normal if someone backs down, our emotions are complex and even if you really don't want to live, there is still your survival instinct and we drive ourselves crazy with the "but what if..."

I am pretty sure in the end you will find your peace, either way you will die someday, so heads up.

That is very kind of you to say.
I hate me. I am supposed to have been dead 7 months now. It's an anniversary I can't seem to shake. I was supposed to get this done correctly the first time - or fuck at least the second time?? I am embarrassed of my self. But I don't expect the same from others. Dying is hard. But I don't have any excuses....my education and career should have made this a no brainer.
: (

 

[sif]

Just knowing that it's an option is enough sometimes

 

[GeorgeEastman]

I can't yet, but could any minute.

That's the thing about being crazy. You just never know.

 

[bigj75]

I just wish there was an easier way

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

It's ok. Every experiment with CTB brings us closer to actually going through with our attempts and being succesful.

My partner more or less decided to stay for his kid and me I more or less stay for family and friends' sake but honestly I know myself too well the longer I am alive the more I want to die. I mean thinking about actual CTB committing suicide is such a dangerous thing especially for those of us who attempted suicide before because it won't lead you to anywhere good unless you are truly ready I don't think I am despite the contradictions within myself being dead is the only way out but remember it will destroy everything you know and love but will also destroy everything you know and hate be careful with that.