Venting I can’t anymore with this

[Sammie_com.sanrio]

I really just can't take it anymore, it's almost summer and I'm still not dead. I feel like I'm burdening my whole family. My grades aren't doing so good and if I "be myself" I would get yelled at for being "exaggerated" if I told anyone how I felt.
If anyone looked in my art, they would leave me thinking there is something wrong with me. I honestly feel like the good things that happen to me I don't deserve. I don't feel like I should be loved. If I ever told someone feelings I had for them maybe they would reject me so maybe it's better if I don't ask for love. I know I'm a liability and that I'm more work than I'm actually worth. I've failed so many times in attempts and just want this to end….

 

[juxtajuno]

i'm sorry that you have to deal with your family and other circumstances, i understand how you feel. i think the majority of what you're saying is your own brain being cruel to you. you mentioned your grades, how old are you? doing poorly in school isn't the end of the world; you can always get tutoring or something. grades in school matter so much less that you actually think, believe me. if your family doesn't take your mental health seriously, maybe it's time to talk to a counselor or someone who can actually help you. being admitted to a mental institution (even if it's for a couple of days) would also help if it's your last resort. there are always people willing and able to help you through times like this, even if it doesn't seem like it.

art is a great outlet for emotions and a good way to express yourself, if your friends/family don't understand or appreciate the things you make there are so many websites and forums to post it to. art is my only coping mechanism honestly, and it can be a very valuable one.

there are billions of people in this world right now. surely there's someone who would want to give you the love and affection you deserve. i know it's a very cliche thing to say you have to "wait for love" or "love will find you," but it's a very true statement. i've gone through a plethora of relationships just to find the person that makes me happy and brings out the best in me. i promise you'll find someone who genuinely loves and cares about you. you won't be alone forever.

all in all, your life is valuable and so many people would miss you if you were gone, even if you don't see it that way. if there's any possibility of you giving life one more try, please do it. you seem young (which isn't a bad thing by any means) and you still have so much to see and experience. please, if you can help it, don't cut yourself short. my dms are always open if you need to talk. wishing you the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly is so tiring and it's very much understandable wishing to be free from all the suffering that existence brings. And anyway it's your choice deciding what to do as after all it's your existence, I'm sorry that a pro-lifer is invalidating your wish to die with toxic positivity. Empty, hollow pro-life platitudes are so cringe to me, people like that should just stay in the "recovery" section if life is so, so beautiful for them.